Monday, February 11, 2008

Single on Valentine's day :( :( What a sad!!


Finally, the day has arrived. Valentine's day has been gaining importance gradually and by now it is one of the most important days on a calendar. Beaches, parks, coffee shops, discotheques and restaurants are inundated with people and gift shops are stacked up with loads of gifts. It has become a festival of its own kind.

Valentine's Day, however, is the most irritating for somebody who is single. Good guess.. thats me . This blog is to help out all you guys who are dying to get over the gloom which surrounds you on this very day. You can be as happy as they are, cheer up. Read through this FAQ and who knows, by the end of the day you may actually find a valentine!

What is Valentine's day?

Just a special day to express your love to anybody. Just tell them you love them. You can go straight to your mom and say, "I love you". However, if you are hell bent upon having a girlfriend, a lover, then this does not work. Infact you may even end up badly bruised or bruised depending upon whether the girl is wearing high heels or normal shoes.

How important is my language when I propose?

Very important. You should know perfectly well what you are trying to convey. "Do you love me?" entirely different from "Will you make love to me?".

What about my outift?

You need to be dressed in your best outfit. Just in case your definition of a best outfit is a sleeveless t-shirt with a bell-bottomed pant, then feel free to ask others for suggestions. It may even be a nice idea to know what the girl's taste is. Wear what she likes the best.

You mean Salwar??

No, not that! You can as well wear you favourite outfit instead! I meant some menswear that would suit her taste. Say a t-shirt and jean?

Any specific colours prefered?

Good question. Actually each colour is associated with some meaning. Wearing red means you are already in to some relationship.

Is that the significance of saying "red light areas"?

No. You are getting off the topic, this is Valentine's day!

Ok, can I wear black then?

And make it look like a funeral?

Ok, then which is better?

Green. It actually signifies that you are single and looking for someone. But make sure it is easy on the eyes. You may be a fan of Ramarajan, but don't let others know it. Girls don't appreciate it actually.

Green pants too?

Hmm. It's fine if your girl is from Andhra (Gulti :)).

Do I gift her something?

Now I know why you are single.You must, ass ole. A valentine's day sans gift is like men without........err... Mush ;) yeah,a gift is that important.

A card and a rose. Would that do?

You suck man!!

How about a teddy bear with a heart?

Yeah, they find it cute. But there is another factor - if your girl's friends get something costlier than what you have given her, then you are doomed.

How about some chocolates too?

Good enough. But they should all be pretty expensive. Don't think on the lines of Eclairs and Nutrine Maha Lacto. Seen those huge boxes of chocolates in big stores? The ones you always wished that someone gets you as a gift? Those.

Oh god, anything else I need to give?

Flowers are good too. But again, to satisfy her you need to own a Brindavan Garden atleast.

So how do I propose?

First make sure you adhere to all the above advices properly. Then google for some catchy sentimental line to propose. Like these. I would personally recommend No.6 on that list coz just in case things don't go all that well, you'll be atleast satisfied a bit. And yeah be prepared to handle any situation.

What?

My personal favorite(s) : "You know what would look great on you?..... Me." or "I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your bed-rock!" cool aint it?? But man, most of the girls wont like this cool stuff or in 90% of the cases they wont understand what you are saying. You can try some of the dumb, un-cool pick up phrases. I say dumb coz she should atleast be given a chance to counter. Make her think she is doing great. Im sure you'll get a dumber reply.

For eg : You say this to to a girl - "Hi, my name is Chance, Do I have one?"
If she replies, "Every dog has its day" or something of that sort, then you should be able to counter it.

How do I do that?

Don't bother that you've been insulted. You are just being prepared for married life. So you should just say, "Can I have it tonight?". She might fume. Then show her your middle finger, collect all your gifts back and move to the girl at the next table.

So have I found my true love?

You are funny !! Whats true love today?? Atmost for a year, yes you have a GF. Till someone gifts something more expensive. If you want to stay in contention gift something really expensive the next year. If you wish to break up, tell her that you will be an hour late for your meet coz you are currently drying those costly costly chocolates which you got for her, on which your dog unfortunately peed.

What if everybody rejects me?

You are my man!! Welcome to Seargent Pepper's Fucked-up-Love-Life club!!


Happy Valentine's Day! :)

PS : "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

1 comment:

  1. Machan dei. best post of you so far da. continue rocking

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