Grrrreee..

I finally got rid of GRE this wednesday and got a score that would fetch me decent universities :-) ( If 1270 would get me some ) And all the GRE aspirants please read the following... and excuse me for the post effects you might get. This post is a pithy realisation by this poor soul about GRE.


What does GRE stand for?


Generally Ridiculous Examination.


How ridiculous is it?


As ridiculous as Dhoni is captain for India.

Who should take it?


One who feels Bald is Beautiful and wants to lose his hair before marriage.


How is the test?


As lovable as Kris Srikkanth's Hindi.


When should I start my preparation?


To finish off learning all the words for the verbal section, you should be as old as Jesus Christ.


How many words should I know before the exam?


Around 1,398,350 words. After you complete the word list, you'll have just about enough time to write your will and die.


Is reading comprehension a part of the verbal section?


Yes, it has 50 odd line passages which the authors failed to comprehend. By the 25th line, you are convinced that "inky-pinky-ponky" is the optimum solution.


Could you make this point more clear with an example?


Yeah. "Ignoring the minutiae of colour and texture of the britches and what lies underneath, the dampness of the same could be ascribed mainly to the frigid climatic conditions. Why the damp output has escaped freezing in such biting temperatures is beyond the scope of our discussion.


"Err...that means?


The kid peed in his pants because of extreme cold.


How about analogies?


You gotta figure out relationship between two words which are equally obscure in their own ways.


Example please..?


American man : American woman


A) Laloo : Buffalo
B) ManiShankarIyer : Hug
C) Ramadas : Tamil
D) Customer : Bank Account


In the above example, we first need to identify the relationship. That would be ... "Many American men have many American wives who inturn have many other American husbands". So the relationship is Many to Many. Option A and B are wrong because they are one to many relationships. Option C is also ruled out because it is a vetti scene relationship. So the choice is D.


What about math? What should I do for it?


That's very easy. You'll figure out the answers even if you are Laloo's close relative.


What if I am extremely smart?


Think dumb.


How are the writing sections?


Equally ridiculous.


Why so?


That's part of the terms and conditions of GRE.


How much can I score in verbal?


Definitely more than what Ganguly does for India, the minmum score is 200.


What if I manage 700+ in verbal?


Please mail me ur house address. Veetuku auto varum.Auto la naan iruppen. I'll meet you personally and kill you!


Disclaimer :
These are my personal opinion and I shall not be held responsible if this blog confuses you GRE aspirants