30 things that I learned in 30 years

It has been few years since I maintained this blog with constant updates. One important reason why I am not writing is, I am not reading like I used to. No input == No output. Also - things got a little busy and there was not a moment where I can sit, gather my thoughts and write a post. (Note to self: Think Twitter). But I kept writing, kept thinking and creating in other ways possible. Life was good. 

And.. a few days back I got a Facebook notification saying one of my friends (sister) has tagged me in a post. She had shared this post and said she reads it at least once a year and she liked reading it a lot! That made me extremely humbled, happy and glad! Thanks Saranya! 

That made me want to resume writing here. Will people read anything longer than a whats app forward? Or anything that doesn't say "Read this if you are a Tamizhan!" slapped on top of it? Will they take time off their news feed for a while? Will they read if I write in Tamil? Do they know to read Tamil? I have no idea. But I have decided to give it a try.. try writing at least one post a month. Let us see how it goes. For starters, I took Saranya's cue and started with a list again- 30 things that I learned in 30 years.

A lot has happened in the last 5 years! Cars flew in space! People jumped from space breaking the sound barrier! Trump got elected! I lost and got a job. Twice!  Rajini is finally entering politics! I am a married man with a kid! I wrote the story/screenplay for an upcoming Tamil feature! (what?!!) 

Like I said - a lot has happened. And I did learn a few things here and there over the years. So - let us start with a standard disclaimer -

Few of this might sound preachy, few dumb and few others, really really dumb. But all is said with a good heart. 

If the word ‘you’ ever appears in this list, I assure that I am referring to myself.  I’m still learning… you, surely, are good as gold.  

Also - things that I have learned, I have not always rectified/implemented in my life.. almost everything is still work in progress. 

And finally - It has been a while since I wrote in English. So the writing will be a little rusty. 

Let's begin. 



1. Being extreme rarely works in the long run. Take it slow, follow through and be consistent. It applies to anything that you want to change in your life. Let us say you want to get into reading habit 'again'. Reading an entire book in a week is not going to cut it. Take it slow, be consistent and enjoy the process of falling into a habit. Easier said than done!

2. Be with someone who makes you happy. If you are not happy with yourself - no one else can make you happy. 

3. Don't believe the internet.  According to the internet, everything around you is there to either mutilate you, make you feel insecure or is plotting to kill you. The Internet is supposed to be vast tundra of knowledge; now corrupted and slowly imploding on itself. Eventually, it will completely cave, and then explode with such force, we will all be sent to an information oblivion. 
Ok - that was too much. 
But not far from the truth. Please use some common sense and logic while you are consuming the information at hand. Makes your life.. and the lives of others around you, easy.

4. Have an opinion. Your own opinion. Information, like I said above, is the curse of our times. Not everyone has it. Those who have, most likely have a manipulated version of it. But everyone has hubris. Try arguing with friends and you'll see that hubris often makes up for lack of information. One way around it is: Boycott information. Ignorance is bliss. Life is beautiful. Pretend it is. The second way is to go deep. Seek the truth and have an opinion. A Whatsapp forward or an emotional status message must not manipulate your opinion. The opinion has to be your own. Read for it. Work for it. Eventually, you will have one. 

5. Having an opinion is good enough. Sharing all that to the world is not mandatory. If you think Modi-ji is an asshole or BJP is malicious to Tamil Nadu, you don't have to publicize it. Especially not in a WhatsApp/Facebook groups/comments. When people run out of arguments to counter some of your points (refer no. 4 above), except blind love for their leader, they take things very personally; they feel attacked at that point. Hold on to your opinion and watch the world argue about it. It is so much fun! 

6. Also - Spend less time online. There were times when people had to wait for days, even years to hear back from someone they truly want to hear back from (the last part of the previous sentence is very important :)). The instant replies that you get from someone is gratifying only because it gives you a feeling that someone is listening to you all the time. And it's probably Facebook :) 

7. Try to pay for things in cash. Having cash on hand is a good idea. You never know when you may need some. Also, try stopping to use your credit card for everything. You will be surprised how much you save this way.

8. It is not too late to find your passion in life! Dream on! 



9. Appreciate every single day. I don’t mean this in that terrible doomsday sort of way – as in, today could be your last – but appreciate that you have running water, a roof over your head and people who love you around you. Just realize that around 30% of world's population is eating less than an average household pet on a daily basis. 

10. Create something. Something other than, another human being :) It could be a dish, a dessert, a story, a painting, a sketch, a handmade vase, a plant, a poster, a song in Smule.. anything! It has to be your own - that is all it matters. Have a vision, get inspired, pour your love, work for it, execute and get it done. It is a beautiful feeling. The end result need not be perfect (even if its a human being :))

11. Never suppress a generous thought. We seldom are generous. But when we feel generous, please do not have second thoughts about it. Just go with the flow. I promise you will feel happy about it. 

12. Stop worrying. Life's a huge joke and there is no room for worries. Stop worrying about things that you won't remember next week. It is like revving your engine in neutral. Just pointless and a waste of energy. 

13. Set your own standards of cool! If wearing a lungi is your thing - embrace it. That is what makes you cool. Literally :)

14. Trust others. This is a very difficult one to remember, especially when we are constantly bombarded by warnings of murder and rape and shootings and war, when people lie and cheat and steal, when friends betray you, or when bosses fire you. But most people are good. Most people who behave badly are actually acting out because of their situation. The majority of people in this world are wonderful, helpful, friendly people.

15. Forgive yourself. If you can forgive you, you can definitely forgive others. Forgive others. Afterall, we are all trying our best. 

16. Do not hesitate to be the dumb person in the room (or) Shed your ego. You don't have to know everything, every time. And you don't have to let others know that you know things, every time. They will eventually know. Eitherways :) 

17. Godfather is still the greatest gangster movie ever made. And watch Stanley Kubrick movies as many times as possible. 

18. If by age 25, you haven't moved on to other gaming platforms like PS or XBox, you won't be able to after 25. I own an XBox in pristine condition for the last 5 years. Any buyers? 

19. Friendships after high school and college require diligent attention and effort. You will meet a lot of friendly people but not all qualify as friends. So keep your old friends close. Talk to them! 

20. Do not get committed/get married before you know what you are going to do with your life. 

21. Expect Nothing. From anybody. 

22. Eat well while you can. If you are 30, then you could be at the peak of your life's normal curve. In a few years, its all downhill. So.. try new food whenever possible. It can be as simple as trying potatoes in different forms - even though your stomach knows them only as mashed :) 

23. If you lie, you will get caught. At least I get caught. If you are a good liar - then bravo! (** slow claps **)

24. It's time you acquired some practical skills. Like putting up bookshelves and performing basic home repairs, changing flat tires etc., It will come handy - trust me. 

25. Get some perspective. Until you have a few life-changing experiences, this isn’t clear. I have had a few close calls with myself, friends, and family which have shown me how small everything is. There is no creed, there no caste, there is no religion. Just men and women trying to live and die peacefully. Try to treat others like you treat yourself. And always try to be the bigger person!

Think about these for a bit - 

சாதி இரண்டொழிய வேறில்லை சாற்றுங்கால்
நீதி வழுவா நெறிமுறையின் மேதனியில்
இட்டார் பெரியோர் இடாதார் இழிகுலத்தோர்
பட்டாங்கில் உள்ள படி 
- ஔவையார் 


And - 

26. Keep your home neat and organized. It just feels good. 

27. The sweetest thing in the world is when your child hugs you for nothing. There is no need to hug them back, even. Mine just hugs.. then goes! 

28. If you are lucky to have your own desk at home - add some colors to it! It's so awesome! Also - get a mechanical keyboard! 



29. Men; try to sit and pee at least once. Women; please do not try to pee standing! (Speaking of bathrooms, do you realize bathroom is the only room which you enter and exit an equal number of times in your life? Unless one was born in one or dies in  one, of course!)

30. Saying "sorry" is like having basic insurance on your actions. It might cover some things, but it probably won't cover all the damage. Be careful with human hearts. 

And finally the last bit of knowledge nugget - Nothing matters - So have a good time while it lasts! After all life is just a vacation from non-existence! 




Three cheers if you have made it to this point. See you soon.  

PS: What should I write next? Should I write at all? :) Let me know.

iMovies - 1

I know you have listologies, IMDBs to recommend you with movies. This is my own list of movies that I like and what I liked in them. I might add in few movies which I totally detest too.. And the list is of no particular order. It's just as random as my thoughts right now.. and why do I want to create this? - I have no idea!


1. Its a Wonderful Life  - Who are you really?

Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like It's A Wonderful Life. 

Does it take me back to that place in my heart, that makes me long for everything that once was great and it could be again? Does it remind me of my childhood, my home? No. Maybe it's just simply what I always wanted from life and every man I want to be. 

Everything about this film is well, for lack of better words, perfect. No question to it any longer, the best performance by an actor I have ever seen. It's more than just beautiful, timeless or fair. All of Stewart is revealed. Everything coming together for Capra. 

Sometimes I think there is a reason why somethings happen. And I'm pretty sure there is some magical reason why this film was made. I was 21 years old and saw it for the first time, when I was going through the roughest patch in my life, during Christmas time of the year 2007, when I searched for the best feel good christmas movie. Every website which google could crawl pointed at this one. I've watched it 3 times since. The only movie to ever make me feel my presence. I probably wouldn't have all the answers for you, if you asked me why. I'm still trying to figure Stewart out and just how beautiful was Reed.

What can I say? This movie is a life changing experience. I have recommended this movie to all my friends and this made one of my best friend cry, after a really, really, long time. :)

Makes me feel good to be alive. What a wonderful little world it is. And if I waited my entire life, it would not be a waste of time.

Don't miss this movie. Just don't.

2. Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain (or just Amelie) - How on earth could she smile like she did?

Through out the years of cinematic history there are pivotal stories of romance that will stand the test of time. There is Gone With the Wind, Casablanca, From Here to Eternity, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Annie Hall…and then there is Amelie. 

The film follows the story of Amelie, a Parisian waitress who journeys through life on a whimsical cloud of dreams in love and passion while improving the lives of others around her. Amelie is quirky, eccentric, uplifting, and will reduce you to tears through the beauty of finding love in the most unique way.

It has some of the most gorgeous cinematography and sound track I've ever seen/heard in a movie. The editing, camera angles and shots are outstanding in this drama. Amelie often has flashbacks or visions and the direction is breathtaking. Sometimes the film is sped up extraordinarily fast to capture a fast shocking scene where as some scenes are slowed right down to capture the different moods of the characters. There is one particular shot I found outstanding which was when Amelie was standing alone at a train station. The camera is in a bird's eye view position and is looking at length towards the central protagonist which gives such a deep meaningful sense of loneliness, a fantastic moment in the film.

Audrey Tatou is perfection as the title character. Pleasing, enchanting and sweet!

A human comedy, about love, of course. A slice of heaven right here on earth, "Amelie" is a joy to behold.

3. Memento - Nolan's Magic!

Christopher Nolan is one of the best director/screenwriter in contemporary cinema. No doubt. I loved Prestige, Dark Knight and Inception. Still I consider Memento to be his best film. Sure Inception had my brain buzzing, Dark Knight gave us Joker, and Prestige was a delightfully dark, still I think Memento is his best film. Its darker than Prestige. Mightier than Inception. The greatest mind screw ever!

Memento has two time-lines, one in black and white and one in color, and they are alternated throughout the film. In no other movie has use of time-lines or alternating visual themes have been more justified. Even when I saw the movie for the first time, mu brain was working overtime, but after watching the movie I was aware that I had watched a really amazing film. But it was the second time around that I was able to connect all the dots and grasp the genius behind the movie.

Many critics criticize Nolan's movies saying that his movies don't have an emotional core. I think that is totally wrong. Maybe they are criticizing just because it is their job to find faults. Nolan is one the finest directors and he chooses the finest actors. Actors like DiCaprio, Cotillard, Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, Edward Norton etc are the finest actors around and they wouldn't have starred in his movies if they though they would not be allowed to show their skills to full extent. Besides the twisting plots Nolan's movies have strong emotional core, whether it is a bewildered Leonard Shelby of Memento or Cobb of Inception we can see them fighting the world and fighting themselves at the same time. They are distant but we can stil connect with them. As a matter of fact, I find the crux of Nolan's movies emotional and philosophical.

What I loved the most about the movie was that everything was not cut and clear, even after you have seen it twice a certain uncertainty remains which is deliberate on part of Nolan as we are sharing that uncertainty with the movie's protagonist Leonard Shelby.

One of my top movies any day!  A dark journey through a lost nightmare.

[I dont know why I cant talk about any Nolan movie, without talking about other movies of his. Are they someway related which only Cobb or Leonard would know? Have you ever felt it that way?]

4. Hey Ram! - Wait.. Is Saketh Ram real?!

There are really very few movies that make us proud. And if Hey Ram is not one among those few, I judge you. I really do! I think less of you :) May be I am arrogant - and I have every right to be! 

I have seen this movie at least fifteen times. Not once, I could find any flaw in the movie. Be it direction, screenplay, acting, music, sets, cinematography, costume design or dialogues!


"என் தாத்தாவுக்கு எல்லாமே first person singular தான் தெரியுமோ? ஒரு ஊர்ல ஒரு  ராஜா   இருந்தார்னு சொல்ல மாட்டார். நான் இருந்த ஊர்ல ஒரு  ராஜா   இருந்தார்னு சொல்லுவார்"  - ஒரு சோறு.


Can a movie be so simple and complex at the same time? Well, Hey Ram is! The plot is very simple. What if a common man turns assassin to kill Gandhi? Yet the journey it takes you through is mind blowing. It can bring a quirky smile to your face, it can astonish you, make you feel insecure, terrified, arrogant, angry, humane, violent, inspired, warm, responsible, patriotic, empathetic, lonely, enlightened, confused, guilty, friendly, dark, compassionate and every emotion humanly possible - all in just 3 hours! 


If you haven't seen the movie, there is no way you are going to believe what I just said. I can see Krishna and Nikhil (if he is reading this) beam with smile right now! This is supposed to be Kamal's directorial venture. Considering that, just as a fact, he is probably the best debut director in the entire movie fraternity around the globe, across time! :) Well, that's how well the film is made. 


People who really know and understands the true Hindu philosophy, consider this as celluloid baghavat gita. For those who just know the lines from  "Geetha Charam" hung to your wardrobe doors or fridge or framed as a portrait where the charioteer Krishna preaches Arjuna, try to relate those verses to the movie... you will be amazed! 


Hey Ram! demands multiple viewing to appreciate the amount of hard work and preparation gone into the production. Raja's sound track is just right – you don't even notice it, but it draws you in – especially Aparna's theme and the way the lavani marathi folk number turns into a semi-western classical piece. Raja captures the mood of the film without resorting to heroics. Excellent, restrained effort from Raja.


Over the years, Tamil cinema has continually numbed its critics and audience to blindly accept the usual and the predictable, all in the name of art. So much, that people are yet to learn the difference between 'good' & 'bad' cinema. Hey Ram! enters the scene as an art form forcing the masses and the critics to feel, to think deeply, and to question almost everything that we have accepted as the 'truth' for so long.


Having said that, I have had this question ever since I saw the movie. Naseeruddin shah, utters "Hey Ram!" as Gandhi's last words. What if thats not what actually Gandhi said. What if he had said "Ya Allah!"..What if Gotse was a non-Hindu? Would these have changed the history or our perspective? Unfortunately, the answers to these questions will continue to elude us for a long time to come.


Be glad if you are able to appreciate this masterpiece!


[I have been waiting to pour down my feelings towards Hey Ram. All these thoughts/feelings were digged from memory. One more watch of Hey Ram might give me one more sleepless night and a long post for you guys to read :).. So I guess I'll stop here.]

..will be continued... iMovies - 2...