30 things that I learned in 30 years

It has been few years since I maintained this blog with constant updates. One important reason why I am not writing is, I am not reading like I used to. No input == No output. Also - things got a little busy and there was not a moment where I can sit, gather my thoughts and write a post. (Note to self: Think Twitter). But I kept writing, kept thinking and creating in other ways possible. Life was good. 

And.. a few days back I got a Facebook notification saying one of my friends (sister) has tagged me in a post. She had shared this post and said she reads it at least once a year and she liked reading it a lot! That made me extremely humbled, happy and glad! Thanks Saranya! 

That made me want to resume writing here. Will people read anything longer than a whats app forward? Or anything that doesn't say "Read this if you are a Tamizhan!" slapped on top of it? Will they take time off their news feed for a while? Will they read if I write in Tamil? Do they know to read Tamil? I have no idea. But I have decided to give it a try.. try writing at least one post a month. Let us see how it goes. For starters, I took Saranya's cue and started with a list again- 30 things that I learned in 30 years.

A lot has happened in the last 5 years! Cars flew in space! People jumped from space breaking the sound barrier! Trump got elected! I lost and got a job. Twice!  Rajini is finally entering politics! I am a married man with a kid! I wrote the story/screenplay for an upcoming Tamil feature! (what?!!) 

Like I said - a lot has happened. And I did learn a few things here and there over the years. So - let us start with a standard disclaimer -

Few of this might sound preachy, few dumb and few others, really really dumb. But all is said with a good heart. 

If the word ‘you’ ever appears in this list, I assure that I am referring to myself.  I’m still learning… you, surely, are good as gold.  

Also - things that I have learned, I have not always rectified/implemented in my life.. almost everything is still work in progress. 

And finally - It has been a while since I wrote in English. So the writing will be a little rusty. 

Let's begin. 



1. Being extreme rarely works in the long run. Take it slow, follow through and be consistent. It applies to anything that you want to change in your life. Let us say you want to get into reading habit 'again'. Reading an entire book in a week is not going to cut it. Take it slow, be consistent and enjoy the process of falling into a habit. Easier said than done!

2. Be with someone who makes you happy. If you are not happy with yourself - no one else can make you happy. 

3. Don't believe the internet.  According to the internet, everything around you is there to either mutilate you, make you feel insecure or is plotting to kill you. The Internet is supposed to be vast tundra of knowledge; now corrupted and slowly imploding on itself. Eventually, it will completely cave, and then explode with such force, we will all be sent to an information oblivion. 
Ok - that was too much. 
But not far from the truth. Please use some common sense and logic while you are consuming the information at hand. Makes your life.. and the lives of others around you, easy.

4. Have an opinion. Your own opinion. Information, like I said above, is the curse of our times. Not everyone has it. Those who have, most likely have a manipulated version of it. But everyone has hubris. Try arguing with friends and you'll see that hubris often makes up for lack of information. One way around it is: Boycott information. Ignorance is bliss. Life is beautiful. Pretend it is. The second way is to go deep. Seek the truth and have an opinion. A Whatsapp forward or an emotional status message must not manipulate your opinion. The opinion has to be your own. Read for it. Work for it. Eventually, you will have one. 

5. Having an opinion is good enough. Sharing all that to the world is not mandatory. If you think Modi-ji is an asshole or BJP is malicious to Tamil Nadu, you don't have to publicize it. Especially not in a WhatsApp/Facebook groups/comments. When people run out of arguments to counter some of your points (refer no. 4 above), except blind love for their leader, they take things very personally; they feel attacked at that point. Hold on to your opinion and watch the world argue about it. It is so much fun! 

6. Also - Spend less time online. There were times when people had to wait for days, even years to hear back from someone they truly want to hear back from (the last part of the previous sentence is very important :)). The instant replies that you get from someone is gratifying only because it gives you a feeling that someone is listening to you all the time. And it's probably Facebook :) 

7. Try to pay for things in cash. Having cash on hand is a good idea. You never know when you may need some. Also, try stopping to use your credit card for everything. You will be surprised how much you save this way.

8. It is not too late to find your passion in life! Dream on! 



9. Appreciate every single day. I don’t mean this in that terrible doomsday sort of way – as in, today could be your last – but appreciate that you have running water, a roof over your head and people who love you around you. Just realize that around 30% of world's population is eating less than an average household pet on a daily basis. 

10. Create something. Something other than, another human being :) It could be a dish, a dessert, a story, a painting, a sketch, a handmade vase, a plant, a poster, a song in Smule.. anything! It has to be your own - that is all it matters. Have a vision, get inspired, pour your love, work for it, execute and get it done. It is a beautiful feeling. The end result need not be perfect (even if its a human being :))

11. Never suppress a generous thought. We seldom are generous. But when we feel generous, please do not have second thoughts about it. Just go with the flow. I promise you will feel happy about it. 

12. Stop worrying. Life's a huge joke and there is no room for worries. Stop worrying about things that you won't remember next week. It is like revving your engine in neutral. Just pointless and a waste of energy. 

13. Set your own standards of cool! If wearing a lungi is your thing - embrace it. That is what makes you cool. Literally :)

14. Trust others. This is a very difficult one to remember, especially when we are constantly bombarded by warnings of murder and rape and shootings and war, when people lie and cheat and steal, when friends betray you, or when bosses fire you. But most people are good. Most people who behave badly are actually acting out because of their situation. The majority of people in this world are wonderful, helpful, friendly people.

15. Forgive yourself. If you can forgive you, you can definitely forgive others. Forgive others. Afterall, we are all trying our best. 

16. Do not hesitate to be the dumb person in the room (or) Shed your ego. You don't have to know everything, every time. And you don't have to let others know that you know things, every time. They will eventually know. Eitherways :) 

17. Godfather is still the greatest gangster movie ever made. And watch Stanley Kubrick movies as many times as possible. 

18. If by age 25, you haven't moved on to other gaming platforms like PS or XBox, you won't be able to after 25. I own an XBox in pristine condition for the last 5 years. Any buyers? 

19. Friendships after high school and college require diligent attention and effort. You will meet a lot of friendly people but not all qualify as friends. So keep your old friends close. Talk to them! 

20. Do not get committed/get married before you know what you are going to do with your life. 

21. Expect Nothing. From anybody. 

22. Eat well while you can. If you are 30, then you could be at the peak of your life's normal curve. In a few years, its all downhill. So.. try new food whenever possible. It can be as simple as trying potatoes in different forms - even though your stomach knows them only as mashed :) 

23. If you lie, you will get caught. At least I get caught. If you are a good liar - then bravo! (** slow claps **)

24. It's time you acquired some practical skills. Like putting up bookshelves and performing basic home repairs, changing flat tires etc., It will come handy - trust me. 

25. Get some perspective. Until you have a few life-changing experiences, this isn’t clear. I have had a few close calls with myself, friends, and family which have shown me how small everything is. There is no creed, there no caste, there is no religion. Just men and women trying to live and die peacefully. Try to treat others like you treat yourself. And always try to be the bigger person!

Think about these for a bit - 

சாதி இரண்டொழிய வேறில்லை சாற்றுங்கால்
நீதி வழுவா நெறிமுறையின் மேதனியில்
இட்டார் பெரியோர் இடாதார் இழிகுலத்தோர்
பட்டாங்கில் உள்ள படி 
- ஔவையார் 


And - 

26. Keep your home neat and organized. It just feels good. 

27. The sweetest thing in the world is when your child hugs you for nothing. There is no need to hug them back, even. Mine just hugs.. then goes! 

28. If you are lucky to have your own desk at home - add some colors to it! It's so awesome! Also - get a mechanical keyboard! 



29. Men; try to sit and pee at least once. Women; please do not try to pee standing! (Speaking of bathrooms, do you realize bathroom is the only room which you enter and exit an equal number of times in your life? Unless one was born in one or dies in  one, of course!)

30. Saying "sorry" is like having basic insurance on your actions. It might cover some things, but it probably won't cover all the damage. Be careful with human hearts. 

And finally the last bit of knowledge nugget - Nothing matters - So have a good time while it lasts! After all life is just a vacation from non-existence! 




Three cheers if you have made it to this point. See you soon.  

PS: What should I write next? Should I write at all? :) Let me know.

iMovies - 3

Prequel: http://riddikilus.blogspot.com/2012/03/imovies-2.html


Forrest Gump - Happily sad...

“A good heart is better than all the heads in the world.”

-Edward Bulwer-Lytton

..is what Forrest Gump is all about.

Most of us think this movie as a collection of events centering Forrest Gump (portrayed beyond excellence by Tom Hanks), but if we notice keenly, it is not! It is about journey between  Jenny Curran (Robin Wright) and her childhood friend Forrest. When did they meet? What happened between them? How did they separate? How they met again? And about what kept them together for all those years - Love!

The narrative style of the movie is set in its opening scene. During the opening scene, Forrest strikes up a conversation with a woman sitting beside him in the bus stop. She is 'us'. It feels as if Forrest is telling his own story to us in a third person's point of view. Not many of us reckon it but every body falls for this narrative  unwittingly . That's the beauty.


Forrest gump - this movie has a lot to do with me. Nikhil - my friend suggested me this movie. He was then, studying in Suratkal and I was rotting in Madurai with daily routines and day-scholar life. One gloomy day, we had a conversation and having known Nikhil for quite sometime, I know he is not for tearjerker movies! But still he suggested this to me with a promise that I will feel light after watching this. And yes - I did.


Just then, when had thought life is cruel and complex, this made me believe again in life's simplicity! The movie relates to one, in many different levels. A LOT I should say. It kindles the innocence, empathy, gratitude, fulfillment, love - all in around 140 minutes!


Tom Hanks - is the only person who could have played this role. I can't think of anyone else as Gump, after seeing how Hanks makes him into a person so dignified, so straight-ahead. The performance is a breathtaking balancing act between comedy and sadness, in a story rich in big laughs and quiet truths.


Any attempt to describe him/this will risk making the movie seem more conventional than it is, but let me try. It's a comedy, I guess. Or maybe a drama. Or a dream.


Do experience it.

12 Angry Men -No bombs, no car chases but edge of the seat stuff none the less




Where can I start with 12 Angry Men? Its a story about a person believing that the soon-to-be-convict is innocent. The movie is not about the story though. Its about how it unravels itself. Any vivid movie lover knows there has to be 2 plot points in a three part screenplay. But this movie has more than 4 :) with out the conventional "set-up" portion.

The twelve angry men are the twelve jurors of a murder case and no one has a'priori introduction to any one under the roof. An eighteen-year-old boy from a slum background is accused of stabbing his father to death and faces the electric chair if convicted. Eleven of the men believe the boy to be guilty; only one (Henry Fonda) has doubts. Can he manage to convince the others?

Although the plot of the film is excellent and it is fascinating to see what little things can influence which way a verdict goes. Where this film really succeeds is in presenting the characters of the 12 jurors. The character of each of the jurors emerges through a wonderful mix of perfect casting, excellent dialogue and near-flawless acting.


Juror #1 - a simple man who clearly does not understand the full complexity of the task that lies before him but is trying to do everything not to let anyone else find this out.

Juror #2 - a small, quite man, clearly unaccustomed to giving his own opinion much less to expecting his views to be of any importance. Apparently he finds solace in his job - he is an accountant.

Juror #3 - probably the most complex personality in the film. Starts off like a pleasant self-made successful businessman, he analyses the case impartially, explains his arguments well and is reasonably self assured. As time goes on he becomes more and more passionate and seems to be somehow personally involved with the case. He also starts to show some signs of slight mental instability. Wonderfully played by Lee J. Cobb - this is the character you remember after the film is over.

Juror #4 - self assured, slightly arrogant stockbroker.

Juror #5 -  a man under great emotional stress. 

Juror #6 - He really wants to see justice done and it worries him that he might make a mistake.

Juror #7 - One that really has no opinion on this case. 

Juror #8- A caring man, has put more thought into the case than any of the other jurors. 

Juror #9 - a wise old man with his great life experience has quite a unique way of looking at the case.

Juror #10 - the most horrifying character in the film. Votes guilty and does not even try to hide the fact that he does so only because of the boy's social background.

Juror #11 - An immigrant watchmaker, careful methodical man, well mannered and soft spoken. 

Juror #12 - a young business type - perhaps he has his own opinions - but is careful to hide them. 

All these characters and its complexities are put to us slowly along with the story. .......Films rarely get this uplifting and brilliant. I cannot think of the last time I was so intrigued by the flawless plot, dialogue and acting since 12 Angry Men. For such a simplistic story set in one jury room, it is surprising that Sidney Lumet can drain you of all your emotions and leave you on the edge of your seat with suspense, mystery, and some of the best acting you are bound to ever see grace the silver screen!

Midnight in Paris - Stunning Allen!


All men fear death. It's a natural fear that consumes us all," says a character in "Midnight in Paris"… "However, when you make love with a truly great woman, one that deserves the utmost respect in this world and one that makes you feel truly powerful, that fear of death completely disappears." Paris is her name. She has seduced writers for centuries, and in "Midnight in Paris" writer/director Woody Allen makes love to her with his camera, in the most poetic of ways.  Or perhaps he's referring to art, to achieving such intimacy with your craft and such artistic climax that you become immortal, like Hemingway, Matisse, Fitzgerald, Picasso, Dali or Allen himself.

Gil Pender, the protagonist in Allen's 2011 oscar winning film, has never experienced that kind of artistic height. Played quite convincingly by Owen Wilson (in a surprising and refreshing role that Allen had to re-write for him), Gil is an aspiring novelist who is visiting Paris with his girlfriend (Rachel McAdams) and her parents. But while they prefer to shop and visit museums, Gil chooses to wonder about. "No work of art can compare to a city," he says.

Pender is actually mesmerized by the City of Lights and fantasizes about what he believes was Paris' Golden Age, the 1920s with the Lost Generation of American writers walking its streets, writing in sidewalk cafés, and frequenting smoky bars and flamboyant parties. One evening at midnight, trying to find his way back to the hotel, something magical happens to Gil. Really! But no reviewer should give that magic away.

Getting lost in the city seems to be a symbol for how lost he really is, as a person and as a writer, and although he's somewhat insecure and anxious (he even carries a bottle of Valium with him), he's actually a likable guy and soon meets a few bohemian friends (played by Marion Cotillard, Kathy Bates, Adrien Brody, among others) who give him much-needed advice about life and the creative process.   From the beginning, "Midnight in Paris" grabs you with its witty and sophisticated dialogue about art, culture and literature, and in the second half the dialogue gets even better. For instance, my favorite line comes from one of the bohemian characters, who believes that: "the job of the artist is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence." Another piece of wisdom comes from one of the antagonists who criticizes Gil for being infatuated with the past: "Nostalgia is denial … a flaw in the romantic imagination of people who find it difficult to cope with the present." Think about that one while watching the film, for I believe, there lies the moral of this fabulous fable about the past and the present.

At age 75—with more than 40 films under his belt—Allen has created a film that literally glows. Its dazzling cinematography, inventive plot, and Parisian score, combined with the top-notch acting and set-design, makes for an almost-perfect film, one that's not only clever and thought-provoking, but also entertaining and accessible—even to mainstream audiences


Finding Neverland -  Gives you a huge smile, takes away all your tears...!


I always feel that one can't claim a movie he/she just saw as their favorite movie ever because it has yet to stand the test of time. But..every now and then a movie comes along that defies that rule for me -- a movie that as soon as I finish seeing it I know that it is an instant classic, if not "my favorite movie ever." American Beauty was such a movie...Finding Neverland is more of such sorts!


                                               


In this drama, we are told the story of how J.M.Barrie came up with the play Peter Pan. After some failed attempts at creating a well written play, Barrie finds himself in a park playing with his dog. Several moments later he meets the inspiration for his next play, four small boys and a widowed mother... and how was he inspired..whom did he inspire? forms the rest of the story..


Johnny Depp takes us by the hand and in the gentlest most reassuring way leads into the heart, soul and mind of an artist. How easy is for the world to judge a person? How frightened we still are of all that we don't understand? How easy it is to be curious always? How simple is it to be innocent? The very nature of innocence is suspect because innocence belongs exclusively to the innocent. Every time the world claims to protect it, tends to destroy it. - There are moments, reactions, sequences, scenes, music -at times everything put together - to answer all these delicate questions about life and mind, in this movie. 


"Finding Nerverland" is filled with moments of enlightenment. Moving and powerful moments but none more so than Julie Christie's face as she applauds, converted to the fantasy transported into her daughter's house. The moment and the enlightenment are short lived, but, somehow, remains in my mind as a glimmer of hope. If for a moment she accepts the mystery of it all, maybe we all could. 


Johnny Depp is the best American actor of his generation, period. Kate Winslet is a stunning rarity among her contemporaries. She doesn't look like anybody else and the camera catches every tiny little thought that crosses her marvelous face

For as quiet a film as "Finding Neverland" is, you never get the feeling that it's all a lot of monologuing. That's one of its chief strengths. There are other things to admire as well. Director Marc Forster avoids the easy trap of sentimentality somehow, and we're never quite sure how he managed that while also investing the film with real emotional content. Forster also does a good job of integrating point-of-view shots so that we can see the world the way that Barrie sees it. Shots like these can be tricky because they can seem so gimmicky if not done well. 

Understatement is the operative word with this film, and so even in a scene where Barrie envisions a hook on the end of one of he character's arms, it doesn't seem overly intrusive. Throw in location filming in London and Surrey and you have a movie that's really a delight to watch. I'm not sure how much we ultimately learn about the man behind the Pan, but it's a pleasure spending time with him. 

PS: I know that I am writing about the movies that you all might know.. but can we omit them just because of that? :)