Peter Boys and Mary girls!! - Gotha thirunthunga da!!

FORE WORD : In chennai ,one rainy season :-) seri no gaandu.. Pona maasam CAT,IIFT exams lam elutha Madras poirunthen. Pasanga ponnungalam evlo maripoitanuga. Maaritanganna mosama poitanga pa!! En kathula eppovum kekura "Macha Machi Maapla Maappi" madras la kaanom.. Madurai la irukka antha eeramum nesamum madras la suthama illa.. Oruthan, kandippa SRM la padikravana irukkum. Sema dabbu party, obb. "YO! man Cat just got the shit outta me" ndran. Gotha deei.. unakku tamil varatha. Illa theriada? "Macha oothikichu da" nu solrathula ulla aathma trupthi "Yo! man..." la irukka? Enda ipdi peter vidringa?? Pasanga paravalla.. Ponnunga.. sssaappaaa... mudiala!! Innum konjam erakki poden ma un jeansa?? Pasangalum oru confusion illama theliva palkalamla?? . Enna koduma saravanan ithu. Ithanal Bharathi aagia naan mana ulaichalil eluthia post ithu. Melum padikkavum.

First of all let me assure you that I am not doing a Maruthuvar Ramadas stunt here. Name your films Mumbai Express or Mumbai Sexpress, I really wouldn't complain. That's definitely not the issue I wish to touch upon. I don't believe naming a film as Mumbai Viraivu Rayil or Pasanga or Puthusu or Uyir Thozhan would enlighten the masses about Tamil and press the need to use it. That is just bullshit...or to put it in the way those people like it...maattu saani! :-)

But I cannot tolerate the vetti scene people put up. Both guys and gals, in their own ways.
"Machi Gilli padathula Appadi Podu pattu super da, Vidyasagar kuththi eduthutaan!"-nu pesikittu irukkara naayi, oru figure kurukkala nadantha udaney, "Mayn have u checked out Eminem and Linkin Park? They just rock dood! Tamil songs are just stooopid"-nu yaen Peter vidanum?

Idhu varaikkum class-ey attend pannatha naathaari, azhagaana ponnu vandha "What did our prof cover in class yest?"-nu yaen scene-a podanum?Sila pasangalukku English rathathula oorinathu. Adha onnum panna mudiyaathu. Idhunga ellam "Hey dude wassup" case-unga. Adhunga kitta standard reply "Yo maan, cool" appadina mooditu poiduvaanunga. Adha thavira kai-la sila fingers-a random-a madichu appappo moonjikku munnadi neetikinae irupaanga. (see the picture below) Kannu eppo kuththuvaanga-nu bayamavey irukkum. For safety purposes idhunga kitterunthu thalli irukkarthu nallathu. But idhunga ok, ivanga ellam Thamizh pesaama irukkarthu dhaan nallathu.

But pasanga kooda saadharnama pesarappo local-a pesittu, figure vandha "Aww man, our college doesn even have a bloody ac, the Princi should be kicked right on the butt!" appadinu pesuthunga paar, idhungala dhaan seruppala adikkanum. Seri ok, figure kooda pesarthukku peter vidunga ok, adhukkaga andha ponnu munnadi English thavira vaera enna pesinalum aatha kanna kuththiduma enna?! Enna maadhiri English theriyaatha pasanga kooda pesarchae neenga paatukku peter vitta naan endha ____-a ____-arthu?! :-)

Pesarthu dhaan pesareenga, ozhuna pesa varuma? Adhuvum illa. Ponnu kitta poi propose pannu da-na, "I wanna make love with you"-nu sonna seruppala dhaan adippa. Appadi varaatha baashai-a verum scene kaaga yaen kadichu kotharanam? Therinja baashai-a ozhunga pesalaamey?

Seri ippo pasanga over, ponnunga...

Indha Shakespeare-oda family tree-a aarayanum. Mukkalvaasi ponnunga direct descendants of Shakespeare. Atleast college days-la appadi dhaan sollipaanga. Oru class-la 20 gals irundha, adhula 15 paer indha category-la dhaan irupaanga (Adiyen sollrathu ellame Chennai matrum sutrupurathil irukkum ponnungaluku matum, enga college ponnugaluku suttu potalum Peter vida theriadu. Apdiye avanga try pannalum ketta comedya irukkum. Thaikulangal mannikkavum!! ).

Over-a English therinju vechukittu pasanga uyira vaangara ponnungala Mary-nu sollalama?? Female equivalent of Peter. Indha Mary thollai perunthollai da saami. Idhunga kooda pesanum-na indha kaathula oru dictionary-um, andha kaathula oru thesaurus-um maatikittu thiriyanum. Nammala maadhiri pasangalukku velaikkae aagathu. Naan sonnaen-la, andha veral-a madichu moonji-la kuththara pasanga, adhunga usually oru indha maadhiri group of gals kooda dhaan thothikittu irukkum. Five Mary gals and one Peter boy. College mudinju varathukulla indha Peter boys Mohan Vaidya maadhri abinayam pudikka aaramichuduvaanga though.

Aduthu sila gals vaenumnae English pesuvanga. Seriyaana vetti scene oattara group. Indha Vivek comedy-la vara Vaalai Pala Thol Valukki Vaalibar Uyir Ooshal group idhu. Adhaavathu avunga Thamizh-a kooda English infuence pannuthaama! English pesi pesi thamizh-ey maranthu poachu-nu fashion-kaaga kattikara gumbal. Indha gumbal oda dhaan andha vetti scene oattara pasangalum seruvaanga.

Idhunga 5 paeru, adhunga 5 paeru...car eduthukittu full sound-la puriyaatha English paattu onnu poattu Beasant Nagar-la round adikkara group. Indha group-la ellarumae vendathathu dhaan seyyuvaanga. Ponnunga ellam sleeveless T-Shirt dhaan podum, Bindu Gosh maadhiri irundhaalum seri. Opena irukangalam intha girls!!Pasanga jeans pant keezha falls thekkara alavukku kizhinju irukkum. Thu theri baadu!!

Innoru doubt. Indha bad words ellam irukkae, adhu endha language-layum bad dhaaney? But I've heard some gals go, "Cha, u cheap F bastard" when I say some Tamil bad word. Sinna pulla thanama illa? :-)

Aana onnu...pasangala vida ponnungalukku nalla English varum. Adhuvum oru talent dhaan :-) En college class pathi sollala.. Generala solren ;-)

Indha maadhiri mukkal vaasi paeru English-laye pesikinu thollai pannara idathula sila nallavangalum irupaanga. Pasangal-la example - saakshaath naaney dhaan :-) Ponnungal-la examples - en blog padikkara ella gals-umae!! (Nalla gavaninga!! Puthu varusham porakka pora samayam adhuvuma enna sabikkatheenga!!)Naan English-ey koodathu-nu solla varala. Infact sila English words-laam saadharname pesrapovey varum. Paarunga..Infact, English, words..ellamae English :-)

Ipdiye kalachara matrathula kettu poninganna, thaikulame, pirkalathula ipdi aagiduvinga

So yaarum ungala Karunanidhi maadhiri pesa sollala!English enga thevaiyo anga pesina poraatha? Rendu thamizh therinja friends boy-boy or boy-gal or gal-gal yaen English-la Peter vidanum-nu dhaan enakku purila? Appadi pesina oru status symbol aagi poacho-nu me thinkings. Which is pathetic!

En kitta pesara payyana irundhaalum seri, ponna irundhaalum seri over-a English-la pesina naera thitti vittiduvaen. Ellarum adhaye follow pannunga :-)

Ellarum inimae namma Captain paecha kaettu ozhungu mariyaathai-a Damil-la pesunga :-)

Ellarukkum advaaaaaaaaaaaance New year wishes.. Intha varshathula iruntachum, Peter boys and Mary girls thirunthunga!!!

PS: Enakku neram naraya irukathunaala ippove eluthi post panten.. irunthalum wish pannathu wish pannathuthan..

Om Shanthi Om - Pointless!!

I had to break the 'for-heaven's-sake-no-hindi-movies' pact that I made after watching few really,really,really boring crap (like Fida-KANK-Bunty aur babli etc.) as I surprisingly 'wanted' to watch Om Shanhi Om.Even now I coudn attribute any particular reason for that odd intuition ;-) . And I did watch it last weekend.

Let's get it straight - Farah Khan's Om Shanti Om is nothing more than an escapist masala film, albeit one that is faring better than Sanjay Leela Bhansali's arty flick, Saawariya, at the box office.What does work in OSO's favour is, the casting. SRK, "talented" newcomer Padukone. Also, the film teems with over 654358 Bollywood stars.

The story, set in the '70s when sideburns and bouffant hairdos were the rage, starts with Om (SRK) and his friend Pappu (Talpade). Both are aspiring actors who can't get beyond landing two-bit roles. However, Om is an optimist who lives by a quote from The Alchemist: "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it …" . Not only Om but every other character on the big screen utters this thing atleast a hazaar times. Booooring..

And while he dreams of becoming a megastar, unlike his mother (Kher) and late dad, who never went further than doing bit roles, he falls in love with a top-notch actress called Shantipriya (Padukone) . They strike up a friendship after Om rescues her during a stunt gone horribly wrong. Just as Om starts making plans to spend his future with Shantipriya, he learns she is secretly married to film producer Mukesh Mehra, who is planning to marry the daughter of a wealthy filmmaker to gain the funds needed for his next film.When Mukesh realises Shantipriya won't keep quiet about their relationship he takes deadly measures to silence her. Unfortunately, Om dies in the pursuit of saving her.

Thirty years later, Om, reborn as the son of iconic actor Rajesh Kapoor on the same night he died, is living the life he yearned for. However, memories of his past life resurface when Mukhesh returns to do a film with him.And so the story comes full circle as Om decides to avenge the death of Shantipriya by hiring a look-alike to scare Mukhesh into confessing his crime.

The acting part was good. SRK differentiated '70s Om and '07 Om with ease. But my eyes were hooked up with Deepika Padukone. Ithu sema hot machi!!. She was hot, beautiful, elegant and taller than SRK. People were so excited about SRKs six-pack abs. I din have time to notice that as I was engrossed with Padukone's abs. It couldve been more elegant. Kirron Kher's acting was crap. No point in reviewing it. Arjun rampal and Talpade were suave in their performances.

I don know who wrote the dialogues. But avan mattum kaila kedaikatum. Mavane seththa di nee. It was soooooo poor. It was soo boring to hear some cliched dialogues again and again and again in a single movie(eg. "picture abhi bakhi hai mere dost" / that alchemist thing ) It was torturing to see, rather hear the same dialogues from the first half in the second half of the movie. Whatever SRK spoke in the first half, Deepika would say that after intermission. What the fish!! :-)

There are many things that Id like to appreciate and blast about this movie. But that would make this post so big. So here we go.

Shottu

* There is the picturisation of the second song Dhoom Tana wherein we got to see Rajesh Khanna, Jeetendra romancing with Deepika (thanks to special effects), and the
magical fairy talelish song Main Agar Kahoon.

* The awesome sets and costumes, which take you through the nostalgic 70s.

* The Filmfare award sequence - Sema.

* Deepika

* Deepika

* Deepika

* and more Deepika ;-)

Kottu

*Lack of chemistry between SRK and Deepika. There was absolutely no love angle between their characters. The half saw SRK in love, while the second half was a
disaster in this department.

*Badly etched Kirron Kher's character

* Farah's sloppy screenplay in the second half.

* Although my favorite song before watching the movie was Deewangee, I thought it was a bit way too stretched in the movie. It was almost like what 60 min song ?? it
went on and on.

* Story?? Whats story??

* Dialogues... sathyama avan saavu en kailathan...

Having said that, there is no doubt that this movie is going to make loads of money, which is good for many people in this industry. If you are a SRK fan, you'll love the movie. If you are an Aamir Khan fan, you'll love to thrash the movie big time. Im a fan of neither, so , yes its a 3 hour roller coaster, 3 hour circus..blah blah blah. whatever.... This movie is the one which keeps you entertained for the entire stretch but then when you realise its pointless in making and watching such movies , you'll start repenting for spending 100 bucks for it.

OSO - (partly) S.O.S.!!

Afterword : I now realise its pointless in reviewing a pointless movie.. what a sad!! And im back to 'for-heaven's-sake-no-hindi-movies' pact :-)

'Figures' On Wheels

The journey back home from college is long and boring, especially if it's a half a day because public transport is the only way out. To my relief, it was a lot interesting today inspite of having just one other person to talk to. Our topic of discussion during the course of this punishing 20km journey was "How women drive on the roads?". I assure you that it's one perennial source of entertainment. If you have seen women drive on roads you may understand what I am talking about. Thus, with all due respect to womenfolk, I am going ahead with this post. Please forgive me :)

Senseless. This is just one apt word to describe the way women drive. It is just a question of how this senselessness is achieved.

The mention of rash driving conjures up images of men in super fast bikes (minus the silencer). Why women get this "angely" image is what baffles me. The way some of them drive leaves you in awe - poraanga da Valentino Rossi paeththi. [Requested not drill into details like if Rossi really has paeththi. Certain assumptions have been made considering that he is the only MotoGP racer I know of.] Speed is fine as long as you have the control - proper reflexes are of utmost importance. This is invariably lacking for reasons unknown.

This is coupled by their "All's mine" attitude. The entire stretch of tar is completely at their disposal.

WOMEN's DRIVING PROCESS

* Press accelarator and you move forward.

* The harder you press, the faster you move.

* Usage of brakes wears out the tyres.

* Use brakes only when you wish to come to complete halt [read: when you wish to park]

* This is a competitive world and you should let absolutely nothing stop you.Squash your obstacles.

This is a checklist and they make sure they adhere to it. In short, it's their appan veettu roadu.

The other category consists of snail lovers and tortoise admirers. Those who perhaps, one upon a time, drove for jaanvaasams, progressing at a rate slower than their favorite mega serials. They prefer to go along the pavement or on it. They still are a great deal of nuisance; to pedestrians.

It may look like I am exaggerating when I say that some even keep their feet near the ground so that they have the confidence that they can balance themselves, but I AM NOT. Witnessed this yesterday and I did not know whether to laugh or cry. Another example of this : MY MOM

It is no less funny to watch them drive a four wheeler - sitting erect like never before so that they can catch a glimpse past the steering wheel. Aerodynamics doesn't suit them. Sweating profusely and full of concentration. This, am referring to the middle aged women. The young blood adhere to the above checklist without fail.

As if this were not enough, you get to witness more [no double meaning intended]. The "accessories" which they sport while driving a vehicle. Some wear a dust filter mask or whatever. Protection from pollutants, fine enough. Some others mask their face with their dupattas in such a fashion that they look like Afghans. And there are others, Aravind Swamy's cousin sisters, who wear a long white glove to avoid their skin from getting tanned. Kaathotam-a irukkanum-nu sleeveless onnu poattu, karuththuda koodathu-nu maela oru glove. Ithellam oru polappa??

Am not saying that men are perfect at driving. But, witnessing all this, it is just natural for me to gather that men have a better road sense.

Have you seen the face of a person when he gets out of the car after teaching a lady how to drive? Well, if you have, then you would agree with me :)

Ramayan @ 2067

So have we ever thought about what will happen to our Tamil Epics and literary works in another say 50-60 years??? Every other Indian busy with his own survival will they even care about who Rama and Sita are??

Year 2067:

Ah.. there I see a elder brother telling Ramayan to his younger bro , just because he was forced to tell..

"So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude,he was Ram, to some national forest or something... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so.. he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so that they could all chill out together.

But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man...they had monkeys and devils and shit like that.But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine.But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe(Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And, boy, was our man, and also his bro,Laxman, pissed..... all the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't mess withgods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys.. Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok...

So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's assin his own hood. Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest..and anyways...it gets kinda boring,you know... no TV or malls or shit like that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home...and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit...and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also...so it was pretty cooool... you know with all those fireworks...Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks...and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff,you know... Thats it dude.. Ramayan is over and Mahabharath.. lemme think..dude thats another long story.are you gonna spend time on some stories that never even hapened?? To make it easier just change the lead role it Krishnan here.. And btw both Ram and Krish are avatars of Lord Vishnu.. and later during the early 2004 or something Hrithik roshan was Krish and made a lot of money.. thats it buddy lets hang out somewhere..."

And these two kids might probably be my kids ;-)

Afterword : BJP guys and for all those wierd sanyasis who are ready to chop Mr.Karunanithi's head off, the above post was just a figment and I have all the due respect for Ram and Krish..

Grrrreee..

I finally got rid of GRE this wednesday and got a score that would fetch me decent universities :-) ( If 1270 would get me some ) And all the GRE aspirants please read the following... and excuse me for the post effects you might get. This post is a pithy realisation by this poor soul about GRE.


What does GRE stand for?


Generally Ridiculous Examination.


How ridiculous is it?


As ridiculous as Dhoni is captain for India.

Who should take it?


One who feels Bald is Beautiful and wants to lose his hair before marriage.


How is the test?


As lovable as Kris Srikkanth's Hindi.


When should I start my preparation?


To finish off learning all the words for the verbal section, you should be as old as Jesus Christ.


How many words should I know before the exam?


Around 1,398,350 words. After you complete the word list, you'll have just about enough time to write your will and die.


Is reading comprehension a part of the verbal section?


Yes, it has 50 odd line passages which the authors failed to comprehend. By the 25th line, you are convinced that "inky-pinky-ponky" is the optimum solution.


Could you make this point more clear with an example?


Yeah. "Ignoring the minutiae of colour and texture of the britches and what lies underneath, the dampness of the same could be ascribed mainly to the frigid climatic conditions. Why the damp output has escaped freezing in such biting temperatures is beyond the scope of our discussion.


"Err...that means?


The kid peed in his pants because of extreme cold.


How about analogies?


You gotta figure out relationship between two words which are equally obscure in their own ways.


Example please..?


American man : American woman


A) Laloo : Buffalo
B) ManiShankarIyer : Hug
C) Ramadas : Tamil
D) Customer : Bank Account


In the above example, we first need to identify the relationship. That would be ... "Many American men have many American wives who inturn have many other American husbands". So the relationship is Many to Many. Option A and B are wrong because they are one to many relationships. Option C is also ruled out because it is a vetti scene relationship. So the choice is D.


What about math? What should I do for it?


That's very easy. You'll figure out the answers even if you are Laloo's close relative.


What if I am extremely smart?


Think dumb.


How are the writing sections?


Equally ridiculous.


Why so?


That's part of the terms and conditions of GRE.


How much can I score in verbal?


Definitely more than what Ganguly does for India, the minmum score is 200.


What if I manage 700+ in verbal?


Please mail me ur house address. Veetuku auto varum.Auto la naan iruppen. I'll meet you personally and kill you!


Disclaimer :
These are my personal opinion and I shall not be held responsible if this blog confuses you GRE aspirants

Bharathi Tagged himself.

I was too busy doing nothing and that's the reason why I am not able to sit in front of my PC and type something! Earlier, I used to hunt for topics. Now I have topics in hand, but no mood to write!

some of those cool topics were

How my TOEFL exam got postponed to sept 29

How i hated my second AIR TRAVEL

How bad the PARAMOUNT air hostess could be!!

How I liked the woman with whom i spoke in that Toll free number for rescheduling my TOEFL dates

How I hated that male who hooked up when I dialed the same number for 'you-know-what'

How I cursed the ETS guys when they charged 50 rupees for the second attempt :-(


Simply-a old people tell Kalla kanda doggie missing, doggie irundha kal missing-nu?! Sme thing..hmmm.. Now Ive tagged myself. Keep reading..


THREE NAMES YOU GO BY

Pasu (Courtesy: AK)
Maappi (College pals)
Kutti (College-la out of form!)

Conclooson : evenum en sondha paer vechu enna koopdarthu laethu.

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE/HAD

Killer Bird (on Yahoo Chat rooms)
Pappara Pappara Paein (on MSN)
Shaunbatty(Summa oru bandha )

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF

Right leg-la rightmost toe-la irukkara nail.
Adhukku pakkathu toenail.
And ulnaakku.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF

Velinaakku
Mayi...err..hair
Nose

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE

Nanjai
One acre nilam in each of the 18 patti.
Pumpset

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU

TR's mouth
TR's smile
TR

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS

Pillow (Katti pudikka)
Bed (Kavunthu adichu kuppara padukka)
Air-conditioner (A/C room-laye poranthu valanthavan you see)

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW

I dinno this question was coming up. Badly dressed. So idhu pass.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP

Solla maataen! Idhu ellam therinjukittu yaarum enna impress panna try pannatheengapa, already gals thollai thaangala :-)

[in case you are desperate in ogling me then let me help your luck ' Trust, Fun and konjam Senti' :-)]

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE

Naan nallavan.
Naan kettavan.
Naan avan illai.

(in no particular order) ;-)


THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU

Kreedam on her head
8 hands
Kai-la gadhai

Note : Jathagathula enga amma-ku vara pora marumaga Mahalakshmi maadhiri iruppanu potrukku :-) Dont ask me whats written in that mahalaksmi's jathagam ;-)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW

Go to toilet
Flush
Get back and complete this

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING

Court Davali
Kanakku Pullai
Gumaastha

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION

Koomapatti
Thoppulampatti
T.Kalluppatti

[for those who don't know, these are real places]

THREE NAMES YOU LIKE TO NAME YOUR KIDS

Chain Gopalu
Naai Sekar
Salttukotta Sarasu [in case of a baby girl]

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

Live

Act in a movie with Anjolina Jolie,Monica Belluci,Eva Green,Kate Winslet,Rachel Weize
[ellarum enna mama mama nu suthi suthi varanum. Story screenplay - myself . Only the "action" movie ;-)]

Play mixed doubles with Sania Mirza and after everytime we score, i want that famous chest beat thing of Peas and Bhoopathi

That's it god, am all urs then!

THREE(make that more!!) PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW

Open invite to all velai vetti illatha pasanga.. or to put it in a simple words, everyone reading this..

Now me escapu...

Guys must be crazy !!!

Foreword : . Well this is my first attempt at a "romantic" story.I thought of writing it fully in English; but as there are two girls,[who recently got a job in an IT company] playing predominat roles in this story, I thought tanglish would be a nalla idea rather a girlish tanglish :)

                                                          Guys must be crazy !!!

"These guys must be crazy yaar" kannadi munnadi azhagu paarthu kondiruntha Asha sudden ah sonna..

PC la utkaarnthu busy ah Minesweeper aadittu iruntha Priya thirumbi paarthu ketta..

"Thideernu enna Asha ularure.. Enna matter??"

Asha, "Ada nijamma than solreen priya, these guys must be crazy..love kaga enna lam than pannuvangalo.."

Priya, "Aaha, thideernu enna love pathi lam pesare.Yaar antha loosu paiyan?"

Asha, "Hey chumma iru di...naane kobathula irukkaen.Nee vera"

Priya : "Ai ai theriyuthe... sollumbothe angae jollu kottuthe..yaaru antha paiyan sollu"

Asha: "Namma pakkathu cubicle Vikram irukkane avan en pinnadiye suthi suthi vanthuttu irukkan dee"

Priya : "Adipaavi, ponnunga ellarum jollu vittutu irukkara vikram ah.. unnaiya.. hey kannadi pakkathula thana irukku, turn and see your face dee.."

Asha : "Hey nijama pa. anniku paaren Food Court la naan saptutu kai kazhuva ponen... anga ethini tap irukku.... but this vikram en pinnadiye ninnutu after i went, antha tap laye poi kazhuvinan"

Priya : "Big deal...ithu bsnl signal a vida oru weak ah na signal ....... ithai poi love signal nu enala othukka mudiyaathu"

[At real-time, girls cant be this innovatively funny, I bet you. So all credit to me :-)]

Asha : "Iru iru, even I didnt think nething about it.Nethikku athe Food court la naan saptutu enthiruchi ponen.Mobile vittutene nu thirumba vanthu paartha that guy Vikram na, naan use panna paper towel ah eduthutu poran...ithukku ena solre?"

[Were I there, I'dve told "Avan oru echakala naai".. But .. girls, you know!!]

Priya : (surprised) "Hey nijammava solre ?"

Asha : "Ada aamam pa.athan sonnen. These guys are crazy. love nu vantha ethu naalum panranga.. nee venumna inniku en kooda Food court vaa inniku.."

As Priya had no other job to do except for finishing the beginner-level minesweeper,That afternoon,Priya and Asha dine together in the Food court. Vikram who enters the Food court at the same time, sits behind them.

Asha : "Paarthiya paarthiya, paiyan enga vanthu utkaruran nu..."

Priya : "Sari sari porumai"

Both finish their lunch and go to wash their hand. As they return they see Vikram standing near the place where they had their lunch

Asha : "Hey atho paaru di...paiyan enna panrannu" [with all the doubts banging in her head which when amplified sounds like this "ada kadavule, enna poi love panrane.. mavane sethan"]

Priya : "Iru iru....."

Vikram looks here and there, after getting convinced no one is around, picks up the tissue that was used by Asha.

Asha (with a triumphant/confused look) : "Ippa ena solre priya"

Priya : "Yeah yeah guys are crazy only. i will go and catch that guy red handedly"

Asha : "Hey venaam pa. enaku oru maathiri irukku."

Priya : "Ada che.. ithu enna murali padama? lovea kadsee varaikkum solamalaye continue panrathukku.. varen iru"

Priya goes to Vikram who is amused to see her..

Priya : "Dei vikram, enna velai da panre.."

Vikram : "System analysta irukken.. en? Kadan venuma?? "

Priya : "Kai la ennadda?"

Vikram : "Tissue paper.."

Priya : " Ithu Asha odathuthana?? Nee ethukku edutha?"

Vikram : "Aama aasha odathuthan.. tho inoru kaila paaru, unnodathu.."

Priya : (with 'enna koduma vikram ithu?' in her mind and slight blush) "Ennodathuma??"

Vikram : "Ipo enna problem, inga iruka ellaroda tissue paperum entathan irukku . Ungalukellam poruppe illayadi??. kai kazhuva pona tap ah thiranthu vidrathu. sapta pinnadi use panna paper towel ah kondu poi kuppai la podarathilla. ippo paru kudicha tumbler ah kooda eduthu vaikkarathilla. Food court volunteer aanathukapparam unga moonjikellam nan vela panna vendiruku ,kali kaalam.. Oththu .. nan adutha table ku ponum"

Saying this, vikram proceeds to next table to collect the left over tumbler.

Moral of the story : Nenapputhan polappa kedukkum!!

At the stationer's

Foreword:

My mind's drawn a blank. I'm forced to write all the mokkais I come up with in class, here in my blog. Apologies! :)

Fiveword:
shtart meejic
---~~---

I'm bloody pissed off with the stationer down the road. I really am. Ok, so I did seem a bit dumbwitted when it came to choosing the pen I wanted, taking an awfully long time to select one. But that gave him no excuse to insult me.

I entered the stationery shop, hoping I'd be given the same royal treatment I was given in a bakery next door. The stationer stood up, looking relieved to finally see a soul walking into his shop. "Ballpen vennum", I said. Hmmm, maybe I should have been a bit more suave. My line seemed a bit like the "maama biskothu" in the Pandiarajan movie, the name of which I've conveniently forgotten.

He gave me a curt nod, all respect forgotten, and started rummaging the shelf behind him. He handed me a slim gel pen. I stared at it for a while. It must have looked to him as if I was trying to burn a hole through it with my searing glare. With a dissatisfied 'hmmm', I handed it back to him. "Too light a shade of blue", I thought, but I didn't bother giving him an explanation. Without a word, he handed me a click pen. One click, and the pen flew out of my hand. Maybe he didn't trust me to handle such a complicated instrument.

One more forage later, he banged a regular ball pen on the desk, his eyes fixed on mine, daring me to tell him I didn't want it. But I'm not someone who goes looking for conflicts, and I must admit he gave me the creeps with his maniacal scowl. I took it without a word. I dug into my pocket for the frayed 10 Rs note I remembered putting in when I left home.

That was when he opened his mouth for the first time.

Ok, so I was being a pain, maybe I wasn't his best customer. But I will never forgive him for insulting me in such a way. As I handed him the money, he lifted his hand asking me to wait.

He took out his scribbling pad, gave me a sarcastic smile, and said "kirukku".

---~~---

Afterword:

Guess whose birthday it is on Aug 15 :) [thats a http thingy..]

My latest crush :-)

Ive been watchin F.R.I.E.N.D.S for some time now and everytime I see Phoebe [Lisa Kudrow] , my senses become !@#$#%#$^*(^*$%^#$

Her Profile


*
Lisa Marie Diane Kudrow (born July 30, 1963) is an Emmy Award- and SAG-winning American actress best known for her role as Phoebe Buffay in the hugely popular sitcom Friends.



*
Lisa is left-handed



*
Kudrow went out with Conan O'Brien until he moved to New York to host his TV show beginning in 1993. On 27th May 1995, Lisa became the first Friend to marry when she wed Michel Stern, a French advertising executive. They have had one son, Julian Murray (born May 7, 1998). Lisa's pregnancy was written into 'Friends' with her character Phoebe having triplets as a surrogate parent for her brother.





Foot Note :


Those who think "she looks like a bum", never mind. I know :-)

Cultral Shocks..

Pre Prelude :


Those who think that our society is still unbiased and sane, please read only the post script of this post. As, reading this post may leave you either psychotic or depressed or might, even turn you philanderic. If you are going to read this, abuse me in the Comments' box and get out! :-)
Prelude :

All happeneings stated in this post are verifiable truths.And if any character dealt in this post resembles you even in smallest of iota, then its you,ass hole. And you may consider yourself lucky or scum. Its left to you.

Note : Names are not revealed, considering the serious obligation by one of the involved person.

Life's depressing really.. Its been more than a month since I've turned 21 and still I've not even kissed a girl - not even in her cheek :-( .And life seems even more depressing when I hear something like

"Macha, namma X irukanla.. pona vaaram mattera mudichuutananda. Athu avanukku moonavathu thadavayam!!"

Well that meant consummating a woman/girl physically or simply 'had SEX'. Heard that?? S for splendid E for Excite X for ...er.. whatever.

Hey man, what am I doing?? Im dumb enough not to know how to seduce a woman??Fuck??..[er... this fuck was exclamation of annoyance. Some thing like - Go to hell, me!!]

And read the following two occurrences. Ive named them Cultural Shocks!!

Cultural Shock - 1

There was this guy named A [Im tired of Xs,Ys and Zee,s..] who was in my class till 12th and now he is in Coimbatore. This part is ok and thats a good place to live. Fine.

This dude has poked 3 girls in his third/fourth year of college alone. Word to be noted : Alone. And one of them is - 'onegoddamnplace's' coucellor's daughter. What to do fellas, I cant let those names out. It just puts my life in peril. Politics you see. And he says that particular girl was 'sema katta'. Isn't that cool? Its not over yet. Yet another girl with whom he did it, is studying in my college. WHAT??!!! Yes.. I know. But see, shit happens. Its cooler huh?? Its yet again not over. He had a tough time seducing her. His cousin lured her with glib, he said, only to reveal that , the girl Im talking about has had sex with more than one guy and obviously more than once. Thats the coolest part.

He has become a chain smoker and yes, he drinks. And again I remind you, this guy was studying with me till 12th standard. He has lost some of his exodontal parts now and that was because of Ganja chewing.

Perfect 10!! Aint it??

Cultural Shock - 2

This B [again a friend of mine. mates till 12th] guy is a maverick, well built and has decent looks. It wasnt too amusing that, this happened to him. But still, that C girl he was talking about [and even showed the picture of hers, man she was sexxy], left me in dreadful oblivion. Lemme tell the crux part of the story

a. She and he were in the same compartment and the third he who was sitting opposite to them tried to provoke her, just to assuage his arousal.

b. Our hero helped her from that fellow.

c. She told this " Hey B , You did soo much for me, I Love you!!" [Sooo much?? you mean soo much?? Shit that was crap. I turned down the hair on my head buddy, just to make myself a JACK ASS!! Yeah Lux, you are right, Im not a mighty romantic, Sigh!! :-(]

d. And they kissed each other. [remember, this was during the third hour since they met each other]

e. They went out. Dated. Had "Fun".

f. The third day she says this " Hey, B! Im getting engaged. Sorry man!!" He says "Phew!! Thank God! I started worrying about my girl friend waiting for me back there in my college. Bye yar"

g. I went MAD!!

This is crazy man!! I cant stand this. A girl who obviously knows that she was having a betrothal and a guy who already have a girl friend, had what they call 'fun'. That was not funny at all.

I asked my friend, " What if da, what if she really was sexually attracted and wanted to marry you?? What about the D, waiting for you??" He said "I never thought that way!But macha, nee antha situationla irunthiruntha.. You dont know da, that was so romantic!" I said " Yeah?? Romantic? what romantic? Leaving your 'real' girl waiting for you and dating some sexy bitch, is that what you call romantic??" Then he says " I was a victim of the circumstances man!!"

I saw a point there. I never had a girl friend, never been with a sexy girl with all the ecstacy in a lonely compartment at around mid night. This left me speechless for hours to come.

"Why am I bothered about those lousy bitches and some crazy womanizers around me? " Said the 'nice' me. The 'bad' me said " Hey you jerk!! live with it man. You are poor in this stuff. You are jealous. You are desperate. You are some bugger who cant deal with the truth". For which the good me said" Hey Hey.. the bad part of this idiots alter ego, i spoke only one sentence. you spoke two and that isnt fair. So im gonna speak three sentence in a row now!!" . The bad me said "You already did that ,ass hole!!".Finally Good me said "Yeah?? Well Yeah! Ill do that again. Hey buddy dont worry. You will be alright.You are good man, be proud of it."

I felt proud for sometime. And that sometime wouldn even last for minutes.

So I had to discuss this with somebody. And my somebody was Dada. I told some stuff about this "Get in. Get out. Get Off" concept ...

me: WHY AM I SOO GOOD and always left LOVE SICK?? mebbe we shud be bad to be loved

dada: hey come on..u mus b proud of urself for ths u r felling ulta..dog

me: yeah. whatever dada... ethachu "nadanthurukka" enaku?? cha cha

dada: kola vizha podhu..adhu adhu apo apo dhaan nadakanum.so ozhunga poi padi

That gave me some relief. Fine so lemme wait for sometime for that 'something' to happen. For those romantic "circumstances". I pity for those future hubbys of those bitches. Shit. If you all say im an ass hole. Let it be..er... Yes. I go with my good-me .

IM AN ASS HOLE AND IM PROUD OF IT!!


Disclaimer : This is by no means a generalisation. Just talking what I knwe about few girls. I am not talking about all the other Mahalakshmi's, Paradevadhai's and Annapoorani's! All girls who still wish to behead me, I am really sorry,be good, I will not complain, promise :-)

So what? Its Thalaivar's movie...

No logic, only magic. No better words to elucidate 'Sivaji - the boss'.

But before I get to write my first impressions, I have something to say about the Rajni factor. After the night show at Tamizh Theatre - undoubtedly the mecca of thalaivar films in Madurai - I called an autorickshaw to drop my chithi and two sisters back home in Iyer bunbalow. I went along in my bike. It was around 1.30 a.m. when we reached home and after I pay the driver an (un)reasonable Rs.50, he asks me: "Sir, padam eppadi irunthatu? Nalla Irunthutha? Thalaivar padam odanum, sir. "

Why on earth would an autodriver, in the death of the night, wish that his 'thalaivar' movie become a hit? Well that is 'Rajni factor' for you.

And where can begin and end with 'Sivaji'? It is an out-and-out Rajni extravaganza.
Yes, there is Shankar, AVM, A.R.Rahman, Vivek, K.V.Anand, Suman and, ahem, Shriya all too provocatively dressed in the song sequences. But when Rajni is on the screen, you don't have time to think of anything else. And you don't want to think also - this I ironically 'think' would be the key to enjoy the movie.

First things first. Rajnikant has managed to turn back the clock 25 years, well atleast 15 years. Right from the first scene, you are reminded of Rajni of 'Rajaathi Raja,' 'Moondru Mugam'..mm ...

By now, the story is out in the open and unless you are an eskimo, you know. But a word of encouragement for eskimos: the producers will find a way to release Rajni's next film in Antartica simultaneously.

So in the first half, Sivaji, the NRI software architect with Rs.200 crores, tries to build a charitable college and hospital but loses out to the schemes laid out by Adhiseshan,played with panache by Suman. And in between he finds time to woo Tamilchelvie, played with very little clothes [yammadiyov!! dress ellam thotta vilunthudum pola... sema hot machi..] in the song sequences by Shriya. And then there is 'Maama' Vivek in the mix of things.

The first half has some absolute rib-ticklers. The sequence in which Rajni and Vivek visit Shriya's , Rajni wears his "Moondru Mugum" get-up and one cannot but hope that somewhere, somehow "Alex Pandian" jumps out. And Rajni also pays 'Illaya Thalapathi' Vijay a small tribute by dancing to his song.

And just watch out for the sequence on the railway track in which 'thalaivar' apes Vadivelu: "Dai Maama, ennavachu comedy keemedi try pannalaye?" ;-)

And in between all this mela, there are the songs. "Athirade" is my favourite. Just watch 'thalaivar's' moves and Shankar'a wit in that song.. "Koool.." . Prabhu Deva scores big time with his choreography. "Style" is a very close second. But all the other songs are worth watching on the big screen and big screen alone...

The second half is all about Sivaji winning over Adhiseshan, and his payback starts with the One Rupee he gives Rajni after leaving demolishing his fortunes. Well, one might argue that the twists are very corny but hey I did tell right at the beginning that this movie is not about logic or thinking. It is about enjoying and living life. This is not a movie. This is a festival.

The sequence in which Rajni imitates Sivaji Ganesan, MGR and Kamal Hassan is itself worth the ticket price. Immaculate. When Rajni does the MGR 'nose rub,' I just fell out of my seat laughing.

The 'Mottai' boss makes a very late entry, by which time I am sure all the twists and turns had put your brain to sleep. Now it is 'high' time. Rajni proves why he is cocaine to the masses. No other actor - Not AB, Not Chiru, No other Super Star - can put you on a high like he does with his 'Mottai' Boss makeover.The crowds who were cheering and whistling intermittently through the movie are now jumping. Just when he says, "Sivajiyum nanthan. MGRum nanthan" the movie has done enough for you.

Now you just want to go home, have a good sleep and run back to the theatre the next day.

Footnote: Its time to fix your brain back in the place where it was 3 hours before and think

Having said all I have said, this is also Shankar's weakest script on his 'individual vs corruption' series. And why can't that poor fellow think of simple and elegant things. Songs,stunts,art-direction and Rajini's make up would have costed more than 75% of the budget. ;-) The movie, somehow despite all the highs, lack a flow. It is like a montage of interesting events not woven well. I would blame it on the screenplay. I cant see Sujatha's glam anywhere. Some sequences are too shallow and kiddish. It works only because of Rajni. Also this is no 'Baasha'.

So what ?? Its thalaivar's movie and I've planned to watch it atleast thrice in theater ;-)

Enga poi solluven?? Ennannu solluven?? - 3

After the tenuous training by our seniors we were expected to be cool for the interview but actually tension crept in us with all 'new' tie [ketta comedy] ,full arm shirts and shoes.. it was really awful in that scorching sun; so I thought of something cool inside. Yes, I was fortunate enough to have a lady interviewer inside and I guess other two sitting inside were gentlemen ;-) and what if the interview was like this?? Ellarukkum velai kidaikkumla?? ;-)

Tell me about yourself

Promise you'll recruit me even if I tell you about myself?

Promise

No, it's very difficult for you to implement it. I'll let this question pass. Ask my friend who is next on the line. When he gives you the answer, I am sure you'll recruit me.

Any actual work experience?

Buying groceries for my neighbour [in Madras,Besan Nagar] who has this pretty daughter called Gayathri.

What did you learn from it?

That Gayathri already had a boyfriend.

Why did you choose this career?

Coz your aptitude test was the only one I cleared.

When did you decide on this career?

When I heard the above news.

Describe a situation in which you were succesful.

How many questions are you going to ask me relating to this? This is the third one you are asking in a row. Next please!

Tell me about your goals

I am no football player. It's a very risky game. A kick on the wrong ball would be devastating.

Who is a good manager?

One who wears a banian, an overcoat and dhothi and works in hilly regions.

Are you a team player?

Yes, if mixed doubles.

What motivates you?

Motivation.

Do you handle conflicts well?

Yes. No. I guess so. Err...I don't know.

Any major problem that you had to deal with recently?

Yes, you.

What is your greatest strength?

My teeth enamel.

If I were to ask one of your professors about you, what would he say?

Bad words. Lot of bad words.

What are your favourite classes and why?

Library/Seminar. They are free hours.

Do you enjoy doing independent research?

If it's with the girl at the next table, absolutely.

What do you know about our company?

That they are compassionate towards mentally challenged people.

How do you know?

I know you.

If you were to become an animal, which animal would you want to be?

A dog.

Why?

Ivalo periya naai, neeyae inga velai seyyarchae, enakkum velai kidaikkum-nu oru nambikkai dhaan. [no hard feelings ;-) ]

Why is your GradePointAverage not higher?

Because it is directly proportional to the mark you get.

If you have to live your life again, what would you change?

Gayathri's boy friend.

Why did you choose the computer industry?

Software, hardware, silicon ..everything about this industry is too exciting.

Why should I recruit you?

Your interviewer was large hearted to give you a job, I am sure you are a good person too.

Finally I was in TCS ;-) thank god... Ellarum joora orukka kai thattunga...

Was thinking abt the Sivaji phenomenon again...

This pic and the last punch dialogue in the trailer really impressed me.. But were I lollu sabha Manohar, what wouldve i told for this [see below]??

Namma thalaivar calls the villain in his mobile phone..

Thalaivar : (styyyyllllaah) Sivaji......... eppadi, Ennoda Call vanthavudane summa athiruthu illa?

Villain : Ada che chumma kada, en mobile ah vibrator mode la vachirukken..yaaroda call vanthalum adhu athirunda thiruttu kamnatti..

[ enna yaarum adikathinga... Nanum thalaivar fan than..]

Sega fighta!! Sivaji righta!!

Guys, after all these post-operative sulky days [for those who dunno, yes i had an operation in my nose and it also had some post operative complications] im goin out and going out with a blow!!





Guess what?? Me goin to watch Sivaji, first day. Ain't that enthralling? Atleast its yes for me being one of the biggest Rajini fan... I dunno what charm thala has..to know what he has, just peep in to this pic wont you?










V




V




V




V




V

[ [intha modern ponnukku____________]... ]

Oops... ;-) sorry for the beguilement ; just see this...

See you with the review and my third day interview... its good to see atleast some 60 are frequenting my blog.. thanks for those... catchya soon....

" Power ranger jetix thanda... pathu veralum gimmics thanda.... "

Enga poi solluven?? Ennannu solluven?? - 2

My scruples din't permit me to leave the second day just like that. So here are few things that I did during the second day.

1. got ready for some tech questions
2. some HR questions like - tell me abt yourself, why our company etc.
3 . Contemplated few AT questions... and I framed few questions that will eventually frame you ;-) Lemme give you some of my odds.


APTITUDE QUESTIONS BY BHARATHI DISSERVICES

Time limit : 15 mins 12 sec Minimum marks required : It depends
Question setter : Bharathi

Please note : Students are allowed to scribble anything they want in the question paper. If this is an online exam, they are not barred from using any website except this . If the student finds answer anywhere in the net , he is disqualified. And the company thinks its a must to warn you all that taking up this test may leave you brainsick and one hint that the setter wants to give to the takers is

"i am not saying that if you do not have an insurance that you do not have the right for an emergency medical treatment. if you have a real medical emergency, i suggest that you go to your nearest emergency department immediately, with or without an insurance. but please, do not go to the emergency room if you have a toothache that does not have any symptoms of infection"

Note : there is no sectional cut-offs as there are no sections.If this test leaves you crazy, the setter or the compaby is not responsible.You take this exam at your own risk. All the best.


Part - A to Z - each question has 3 or 4 options and you may or may not answer those questions. If you feel like framing and answering your own questions , well and good. Bonus marks will be awarded based on the level of creativity with which you have answered/framed the questions.

1. Is your name Govindsamy?

a. Yes
b. I Accept
c. Of course

2. Who found Newton's third law??

a. kutti-samiyar
b. govindsamy
c. Columbus

3.Whats the CAPITAL in India??

a. IndIA
b. INDIA
c. InDiA

4. Whats the opposite of 'opposite'?

a. oppoopposite
b. 'ippo'stand
c. opposite

5. During nights, sun rests at _________?

a. a dark place
b. Arivaalayam
c. Taj resorts

6. Whats this question's number??

a. 5
b. 7
c. 8

7. A and B are sisters. B and E are one-left [ tamil transcript being - onnu vitta] sisters. E and F are relatives. A is F's aunt. U and F are co-brothers. E and U are enemies.If A is engaged with F how is G related with Z??

a.distant relative
b.pangaali
c.neighbour

8. 12 men can finish a work in 8 days. 16 men in 6 3/4 days. 20 in 2 56/29 days. If no one does that job when will the job be done??

a. yesterday
b. day after tomorrow
c. on a full moon day

9. what answer do you want to answer for this question??

a. ithellam oru polappa?
b. aasa dosa appalam vada
c. i love you
d. yevana irunthalum vettuven

10.Air bubble is made of??

a. air
b. bubble
c. cotton-candy

11.Express A starts from chennai at a speed of 300 kmph to tuticorin at 7AM travelling a distance of 650km. At the same time Express B starts from Delhi to Mumbai at a speed of 270 kmph travelling a distance of 333333 km. When/where will A and B meet??

a. on the rails
b. laloo's backyardat
c. sathyam complex,noon show!!

12. x is a double digit number. when multiplied with y you get 12. 3320 is 5.5 times x. z plus y will give you one fourth of double of x. On multiplying x,y,z and the result by two and subtracting the result by 7, you will get __________

a. head ache
b. dizziness
c. depression

13. when standing vrtically in a dark room horizontally, where will your shadow fall??

a. from hill top
b. meenakshi amman kovil undial
c. girl's hostel mottai maadi

14. When you press 'redial' after dialing '98945 43715' what number will be dialed?

a. 100
b. 98945 43715-989458 43715
c. none of these

15. Have you reached the last question?

a. dunno
b. is this the last question??
c. enna koduma saravanan ithu!!
d. mamaa biskothu

**************** Students who have successfully completed this test, may have the question paper for themselves . Thanks for the co-operation. ******************
*************************

Dreaming of such a rational Apti paper, I dozzed of that night and it was interview the next day....

to be continued....

Enga poi solluven??Ennanu solluven?? - 1

Im emoloyed finally in Asia'a No.1 company with a pay package of 3.2 lpa. Sounds cool huh?? It is cool.

As in this post, we had three stages in the interview.

1. Clear the A.T.
2. Then a panel of 3-4 men/women will screw you with tech questions.[atleast they are
supposed to]
3. HR finally as an add on.

This is what happened during the course of 3 days.

DAY #1 : 485/600

As usual,it was the TCS fellows who got the first slot to recruit us. I wonder, "why fight for first slot??" Its always gonne be students[like me] with an intelligence of a ceiling fan.hmmm.. This company was a perfect oxymoron. [Relatively] Easy to get through but still kinda tough.. Confusing?? Lemme explain.They'll recruit atleast 300 from a college, here ends the safe part. The tough part is, "all" the students of your college will be eventually eligible and all of them will appear for this being their "dream" company..So obviously there would be adithadi for this company.

There was.

It was said that the pre-placement presentation would start at 8:30 AM, so that the K.S audi would be full atleast by 9:30 AM. I was damn sure that my mates were so particular in not missing this presentataion and they will occupy the front rows a.s.a.p. .It happened.

I was as usual late by 15 mins.Man,just 15 mins.The auditorium was outpouring with crowd leaving no place for me even to stand or sit, shit !! Why cant they have two sessions for their precious presentation?? After a long search,I managed to sit in a footer of a window from where I was'nt able to see a thing without tormenting my neck and calf.

10:15 AM -

The auditorium fell in deep silence when the guys from TCS and TCE arrived like peas and carrots. WoW!! There I could see how to have a interpersonal relationship. I was almost half sure that a prominent personality would be there somewhere bragging about how new buildings are built in this city and how he is helping this place to turn into an IT hub and how he missed a tea party with Bill Gates. That great man strongly believed that "Tee-See-Yessu" differed from "Tee-See-Eeeeyeee" by just a single letter. I couldn see that Legend anywhere around. hmm...

It begun with conventional address of our principal.. Ah I forgot! The placement officer was talking before that.. I was anxious to hear his words because I expected him to start his welcome address, absent-mindedly saying that the relationship between TCE and TCE is not a new one..When he finished saying,"We welcome one and all" -

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP...

SHHH....Guys, this is just the welcome address. sigh. :-(

.. Then few TCS guys took over the dias and started selling their company. [their video footage was nice].After a time of say, 20 mins,my friend who shared my window-footer told "macha!! vema sambalam mattum evlo nu soltu AT ku anuppa solda!!"

20 mins later -

Here comes the favorite part - QnA session. I expected few decent no. of questions [ the questions need not be decent though] from the 'Aaa-ko's. But my mates failed me again. They were dead still like a mid-night's lake. Then one TCS guy told " Well, ill give you an offer. The person who asks the first question will get the first answer. What more can a company assure you?" . Now, that was damn cool. But I seriously doubt he had practiced that a thousand times before delivering that here. It was perfect. No rushing through words, no stammer in between; it was cool.. Then some 'rosakaara' guys and non-guys pinned them with questions and the Questions were answered.The questions were almost monotonous eg. "What are the qualities should a S/w engineer should possess??" .., there was another one like "What does the company expect from us".... aarrghh...

My subconcious mind told something which almost made me roll with laughter. But I had to say no to the very human instinct...

That something was "En pa.. Ivlo peria aala valanthuttinga.. innum en naalu per naalu vithama kelvi kekura maari vechukuringa?? asingama illa??" ;-)

7 mins later , all 600 were batched and were alloted time slots.The notice board said that I should attend the A.T. @ 7:30 PM. It was 11 30AM then. I had to wait for 8 fuking hours.

After 7 fuking hrs 15 fuking mins and few fuking seconds, I was en route to CCC. Was able to see some faces in stew and some in seventh heaven...and some in terrible shock with their own obvious reasons. Even I was in shock . The reason being - CCC was air-conditioned!!.What other than a terrible shock can you expect?? Single word that I muttered [rather loud] was - "GOTHA!!".

I placed myself in the first row or should I call it column.?? Everyone in my batch were given a common password "TATA"..Shit!! I told "Vantha odanne, tata kaamichutanga maapla.. athum password.What a subtle way of telling bye-bye!!" to myself.

90 questions. 1 min per question.

After 90 mins : Relieved seeing "Congratulations, you are selected for the Interview!!" on the monitor.

My interview was scheduled on wednesday which left me with one free day. Phew...!!!


DAY #2 : Athan sonnene- complete rest.

DAY #3 : 355/485, that would be my next post.

History repeats itself

First things first.

A million thanks to everyone who prayed and greeted me for getting placed . Thanks folks. Await for the next post on placement stuff


Churning my memory back by 4 months:


It happened in a split second.. and my world came crashing down. I lost my focus in life.
Before you start to panic thinking I've entered depression, lemme put things back in perspective.The 1.9k glasses of mine (where 1.9k = 19 followed by 2 zeroes)? They broke!

They meant the world to me, yeah man. They went crashing down. And I literally lost focus! :P

"I don't mind spending so much for you", my Mom told me when she bought it, "but please be careful". That was the first thing that came to my mind. The entire day went pretty weirdly after that (happened pretty early in the day), when people found it difficult to recognise me without my specs (when the logic's supposed to be working the other way!).

Now, I'll have to shell out 475 bucks to get a new lens and get it fitted onto the 2 kuchis. :( I'm not asking my parents for it, and I feel too guilty to make my Mom pay. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my friend's fault either. Some things in life just happen. And that means, the memory card reader I was planning to buy with the money I was putting aside for it, will have to wait.



Coming back to the present...


May 24 th.
7AM : I was in bed.

8AM : Yes, still i was in bed.

9AM : I had a terrific dream,I was a psychopath

10AM: My mom desprately tried to wake me up.

10:10AM: She was still trying.

10:30AM : Finally it was Dada on land line,after a vain effort in reaching me through my mobile, which was in silent mode.

Dada : Hello...Evlo nerama unna koopdrathu??

Me: [What a bright girl, S.S.colony la irunthu koopta inga epdi kekum??]..hmmm...


Dada: Ippo than elunthia?


Me: [again was stunned by her accumen]..aama


Dada: Seri seekiram kelambi vaa!


Me: what??


Dada: Inaiiku Lavanya trt tharaa...


Me: [now that revoked all my senses]..enna??


Dada: Seekiram kelambi inga vaa oru 1:30 ku...


Me: Paakalam.. i dunno what my commitments are...


Dada: peria ivaru.. seekiram kelambi vaa.. nan vaikkiren...[Dup...]


Me - started to search my brush...


After a well made chicori less coffee, and 4-5 wonder cakes I sat in front of my TV with "Finding Neverland" in my home theater. Whatae movie!!I skimed through it to see few nice scenes. It was 11:30 by then. I de-ordured myself. Then got some uncomfortable feeling abt who were all coming to the treat. Msged Dada and Pooka... Before they could reply, Lavanya called up and confirmed my presence in the treat. hmmm.. Kudutha vaakayum kudutha porulayum ennaikkum thiruppi thara maatan intha pasu. So had to take bath.Taking bath in a sluggish holiday that too at 12 noon is a curse. Really.


Left my home,fully loaded at 12:30 PM. It was long since I last went to Malligai Book Shop .Was astonished when the cashier asked "Enna pa thambi, romba naal aachu? Neenga keturuntha Na.Muthukumar books innum varala". I was stunned. Were it, general "ennapa thambi", its ok. But this fellow pin pointed what I asked. That was too good. I envied Malligai for having such a nice employee. Bought 5 books, all tamil for Rs.*** [Clue: One of the digits is zero] which left me with stingy,girlish amount in my purse. It was Lavanya's b'day tomorrow and thought of buying her Erich Seagal's Love story. But was not available.


Landed in Dada's home @ 1:35 PM sharp and something made me feel uncomfortable ; Any correct guesses?? Put it in the comments :-) hmmm.... Within next 10 mins we were in Germanus and had a riot of laughter after a long time. Muba was tearing with laughter with usual 'Dada'isms :-) .



After emptying Lavanya's purse, Dada with her 'hey-this-will-be-real-cool' idea bought a
bday cake for Lavs. Reached home buying that and there it happened.....I warned those girly-girls not to do cake-appification like silly kids. It all started when our owner of this 'cool' idea dipped Lavs in the cake. "OH NO NOT AGAIN!!" . I was there as just a spectator watchig all non-sense wherein, Dada, herself appifying cake topped all other non-sense as usual. Ha ha... It was the b'day baby Lavs who told " hey ! avana paaren... onnum panama irukkan..." They tried to soak me with cream, and I tried to escape only to land on my poor innocent little specs lying there and its in no way logical to think that it will bear my whole weight..


Ok, I think it's about time to get back to what this post was about.


See the title?





See the picture? :(


Rimmed glasses, here I come!


PS:Did I mention the plastic lens was supposed to be unbreakable?

Boo!!

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

This is one prominent dialogue in the movie "V for Vendetta"....

Lemme give a try for "B for Bharathi.."

Boo! Present before you is a bloated, big-nosed, babyish buffon, widely believed to be bracing and birdbrained. This bizarre bozo is no banner of bravery, boldness or brains, but rather a badge of bad manners and brainlessness. Besides being a batty old bugger, he is also the bringer of beningn luck and often, the butt of the best jokes in the band. Bewildered by the most basic of brainworks, it is certainly bewildering that his brain, works. His bitter, blabbering mouth and biting nature have made him the biggest blunder of ma nature.Bemusingly his beggarly attire and beastly behaviour, made him a base brute who is beloved by everybody. So let me add that you may call this beauty 'B', Rather "Big -B"..

- B for Bharathi

 PS: whosoever is reading my blog, please post a comment. Even if it is to tell how bad my blog is :-)

Its the time to....

Voila...!! After 3 years of depressing subjects, frequent visits to park during the class hours, lack of attendance, 156 weekends, more than 200 movies, obscure subjects , few really good lectures ,very few good lecturers , very very few really good friends and many many many ass holes,and myriad of SSDD*s, we slog for our placements...

Just imagine, girls who are phlegmatic [names, better kept clandestine] and guys who are yokelish are given jobs [this includes me too]..I know, its saddening.

And what all these nitwitted morons should do is this

1. Clear the Apti - "Yeah!!We have R.S.Aggarwal,friends studying in other colleges and previous years question papers and seniors who give question papers only to their junior 'sisters' and those 'sisters' forward those mails to us.."

2. Watch BharathaNatyam/Rap/Hiphop shows - " Yo! Man Im meliorating my bloody body language!!"

[or]

If you dont have the patience to watch those, practice un-dumb-charades. Do actions whenever you speak. It works!! Im damn serious here.

[or]

If you are not interested in both , go to hell.

3. T.R.'s Arattai Arangam - "my Group discussion skills need some TR touch... I should get circumlocutious"

4. Acquire some fake american accent - eg: pronounce ass hole like ass-howl

5. For heaven's sake, blandish those interviewers even when you know that they are tatally jobless and were sent to recruit you....

And All the best all of you!!!

* - Same Shit Different Day

"300" - Prepare for 'Gory'

"People who were expecting the continuation of the prev Zen story - The transformation, please wait ;-) ... In the interim.."

Over the last month or so, millions of people all over the world, including me, have been witness to the unbelievable feats of a unique set of people. We have watched in awe and applauded these brash, macho, courageous, gallant, superhuman and above all, yellowish creatures who seem to stop at nothing to defend the glory of their proud nation and to mercilessly massacre their enemies. I am talking here, of course, about the Australian Cricket Team.

Ha Ha Ha Ha, just kidding!! I was actually referring to the Spartan army in the new Hollywood blockbuster movie ‘300’, which gets its name from the total number of visible muscles on the upper torso of a Spartan soldier. ;-)

If you didn’t know it already, the movie is based on the legendary Battle of Thermopylae, in which 300 gallant Spartan soldiers fought bravely against one million lily-livered faggots of the invading Persian army, and kept them at bay for three whole days, while the rest of Greece was busy with the Olympics. The Spartans were lead by their fearless King Leonidas, played in the film by Gerard Butler, whose only previous claim to fame came when he was the only British actor NOT considered for the role of James Bond. The Persian Empire was ruled by the 8-foot-tall, dark and handsome Xerxes, also known as the ‘Bling-King’. Reputed historians from all over the world agree that, if not for his unquenchable thirst for power, Xerxes could’ve had a major impact in the NBA.

Now the Spartans were a tribe of real men, so manly that if Hulk Hogan had lived in Sparta, he would’ve been a nurse or a fashion designer. In Spartan schools, young boys were trained in the art of war. They were taught never to retreat, never to surrender and to torture prisoners of war by locking them up in a room alone with Navjot Sidhu. ;-)

The Persians, on the other hand, were open-minded, extremely horny and willing to experiment with their sexuality. So, when they heard the Spartans crying, “Only the hard and strong may call himself Spartan. Only the hard,” they just had to visit Sparta to check if it was true. So, they decide to invade Greece.... ;-) Just kidding..

King Leonidas, after hearing about the upcoming invasion on Sparta, gets all excited about getting to kick some Persian butt. So, following the official protocol, he asks the Oracle, played by a sexy, writhing young woman covered with only a piece of thin white cloth ,which reveals more than what it covers(Wachowski brothers, please note. You suck.), whether it would be a good idea.

That is Oralce in 300.Wish she was an Indian Goddess; Pity us.That was the most decent pic i could get

Using her prophetic powers, she tells him no, it would be a very bad idea and that everyone would die a bloody death on the battlefield but adds that many centuries later, the movie adaptation of their story would make loads of money. So, Leonidas signs a lucrative deal with Warner Bros., gathers 300 of his best soldiers and goes to war against the invading Persian army.

They march north towards Thermopylae to stop the Persians from entering Greece. The Persians ask the Spartans to drop their weapons and save the movie producers the money to be spent on special effects for the computer generated battle scenes. Leonidas responds to this suggestion by first smirking, and then screaming, “Persians!! Come and get them!!” . The embarrassed and enraged Persians immediately sound the battle cry. And so the war begins.

The Spartan soldiers use the phalanx formation, also known as the attacking 4-4-2, and some really astounding special effects to fight off wave after wave of Persian attackers, including silver-masked magicians, an angry rhinocerous, some agitated battle elephants and a couple of hideously deformed circus freaks, all of whom have the fighting skills of a washing machine. For the next few minutes, the screen is a mix of red and brown and body parts go flying around and blood splatters everywhere.This movie also has some Tamil cinematic scenes. I strongly believe that 'Pudungi' Perarasu helped the script writers...Especially when the Commander in chief regrets not for his son's death but for not revealing how much he loved him... SHIT !!

Xerxes, impressed by the Spartan fighting spirit, personally approaches Leonidas, gives him a shoulder massage, and promises him a full-body if only he would kneel down in front of him and do you-know-what. The Spartan king politely declines, saying instead that he would make the Persians bleed to death.

Finally, the Persians, after displaying the intellectual capabilities of cabbage for nearly three-quarters of the movie, suddenly turn into cunning military strategists and surround the Spartan army on all sides. Xerxes demands their surrender, asking Leonidas to service him once before he died. To this indecent proposal, Leonidas replies with the immortal line: “This will not be quick, you will not enjoy this, and I am not your Queen!” [im getting nasty here pals ;-)] and later realising that he was looking at the wrong page of dialogue. Before he can find the right lines, the bling-king orders his archers to fire and all the brave Spartans are killed in a violent downpour of arrows.

The movie sucked big time...

My rating : 40/100

Plus : Photography, CG , Dialogues , Spartan Army

Minus : Profound humdrum.

Unnale Unnale - Sluggish Love story

"Unnale Unnale" - I told my mom when she asked "Enna kutti [ya thats me!!] intha padam nalla irukka nalla illayane therialla.. vera padam poirukalamla??", during the ride back from the theatre which usually would be filled with debate and comments on that particular film which never happened during yesterday's ride back home ( April 27, 2007) . This happens only between myself and my mom. My dad, a poor man never likes movies.Good for him.

Karthik (Vinay), is a fun loving and a playful lad who flirts with every second girl who crosses his path. He is sent on work to Melbourne where he meets his ex-lover Jhansi (Sada). They previously fall in love with each other in Chennai but drift away when they find that they are not made for each other. Jhansi is an extremely possessive, always suspicious, introvert,who is basically old fashioned. There is this bubbly girl Deepika (Tanisha) whom Karthik meets on his flight to Australia who plays cupid after realizing how deeply they still love each other but Deepika slowly falls in love with him, complicating matters. The stubborn and at the same time lovelorn Jhansi is not willing to open up and sort out issues and her hidden fears makes things worse. Do the mismatched lovers unite?

Why a stupid,slow and i-try-to-innovate kinda screen play for such a simple story?? I bet , in the recent past , Tamil film industry has never seen a more irky screenplay. Jeeva (screenplay,Cinematography,Direction) sees a lot of English and Hindi movies for sure. He slipped "Sliding Doors" in 12 B,his debut and in this movie he has made use of some celebrated scenes from Dil Chahta Hain and Kal Ho Naa Ho. Maams,Gutham menon oda nelama unakkum varanuma?? Copy adikkathinga da dei!!

And the dialogues penned by, S.Ramakrishnan [a renouned mystic tamil writer] is like a cannon constantly shooting some 'senti' sms's like "pasanga rough draft maathiri and ponnunga fair draft maathiri" , " neenga site adicha athu just looking , pasanga panna alayaroma?? ".. It really tested my patience.

Vinay - looks and acts like dumb ass. He cant even mouth correctly for his dubbing.And he cant dance.I pity the dance master. All he does is sit,stand,walk,run,jump,jump higher,still higher
and that too in slow motion , kadavulee... Sada reminded me of Vivek in Anniyan when he says " Dei Ambi, ava oru sappa figure da. Avalukku nee ivloo alayanuma?? ".. Pesaama 'Saada' nu pera maathi vechikko ma. Punniyama pogum...

Music - See this link [Vettayadu Vilayadu Review by me]

Oh yeah,there are some plus points in this movie too:

a) Tanisha Mukherjee - i just fell for her for the second time [first time after Sarkar]!! Believe me Ive got a band aid in my right knee :-(
b) Raju Sundaram
c) Jeeva's Photography - Sema!vaippe illa!!

Reviewer's verdict - see. if you dont want to miss the brilliant photography and few good scenes

Rating : 38/100 out of which 38 marks for Tanisha :-)

Psst ... After seeing this movie I resolved not to fall in Love ;-) happieee !!!!! - Thala vali da saamiii

Kids say the darndest things...

My schooling history is quite normal without any frequent change of roofs. Had my kinder garden thingy in one humble school in some 4th cross street in Kurinji Nagar , named "Cathy Matriculation School". This is where Mary miss blessed me with all her love. Such a suave name aint it? So very caring and lovesome teacher she was.She always allows me to sleep in the class room.( that too with girls around me!!)

She was once telling me about an innocent little kid. He was probably the first student who'd ever asked her a doubt in LKG. And she said with regret, that she didn't have an answer to the question to this day.She was taking Alphabet class for the first LKG batch in the school, when the kid in question piped up. "Miss", he asked in all earnest, pointing to a letter on the board, "why is it called Double U when it looks like two V's placed side by side?"
That poor li'le kiddo passed LKG with flying colors writing all the alphabets correctly - 26 on 26 :D . And that poor li'li kiddo was me. :)

Then from 1st to 5th - in "Chetana Matriculation School" thats where i had my first big crush :-) She was more graceful than most of her kind.Had a fair complexion and a thin hip. She'd do anything for me. She'd wait for me for hours together in rain, blistering heat ,without even moving from where I left her.My first love - I called her "Sophie". But generally people call her
"BSA SLR" ; i hate those fellas. I was 'riding' sophie everyday, every minute (gerroff nasty minds!! I never said everynight) The best teacher i've had in this school - Usha Mam.

Then from 6th to 12th - ion TVS Lakshmi School - numero uno in our City. This was the place that groomed me to what I am now. Here my favorite teacher was Mr.Raj Kumar. The best i'd say. "Perhaps" the Best. ( his students would know how to read the previous sentence )

I met him in a Priting Press one day and he was tattling about some fellow who was soooo ambitious and made the school and his parents proud. But unfortunartely he wasn't able get in to Medical stream, which ultimately turned out to be good for that fellow as medical rules are stiffening day by day.

That ambitious fellow was not me ( Gotcha!!!).

After all these years and 3 more years in my college, I feel lost in the path leading to nothing but eternal emptiness. Now I wonder who'd allow me to sllep in the class atleast without girls?And i keep wondering with many other it-can-only-be-felt kind of questions in my head...

The poor li'le kiddo in me unfortunately has been missing for 16 years now. Last seen, he was wearing an unusual dress with all sorts of ornaments and stuff,with a hole-less flute,a hair-ball (kondaikku english la enna baa??) , a band-aid on the right leg,pair of bangles and an extremely bright look on his face.

If found, please ask him where all his innocence went. :( What toxicated him??And please do tell him a way to avoid the process of growing up. I bet he was more fun as a kid.

Moral of the above post :

Kulandaiyum deivamum onnu nu summava sonnanga? :-)