Monday, May 28, 2007

History repeats itself

First things first.

A million thanks to everyone who prayed and greeted me for getting placed . Thanks folks. Await for the next post on placement stuff

Churning my memory back by 4 months:

It happened in a split second.. and my world came crashing down. I lost my focus in life.
Before you start to panic thinking I've entered depression, lemme put things back in perspective.The 1.9k glasses of mine (where 1.9k = 19 followed by 2 zeroes)? They broke!

They meant the world to me, yeah man. They went crashing down. And I literally lost focus! :P

"I don't mind spending so much for you", my Mom told me when she bought it, "but please be careful". That was the first thing that came to my mind. The entire day went pretty weirdly after that (happened pretty early in the day), when people found it difficult to recognise me without my specs (when the logic's supposed to be working the other way!).

Now, I'll have to shell out 475 bucks to get a new lens and get it fitted onto the 2 kuchis. :( I'm not asking my parents for it, and I feel too guilty to make my Mom pay. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my friend's fault either. Some things in life just happen. And that means, the memory card reader I was planning to buy with the money I was putting aside for it, will have to wait.

Coming back to the present...

May 24 th.
7AM : I was in bed.

8AM : Yes, still i was in bed.

9AM : I had a terrific dream,I was a psychopath

10AM: My mom desprately tried to wake me up.

10:10AM: She was still trying.

10:30AM : Finally it was Dada on land line,after a vain effort in reaching me through my mobile, which was in silent mode.

Dada : Hello...Evlo nerama unna koopdrathu??

Me: [What a bright girl, S.S.colony la irunthu koopta inga epdi kekum??]..hmmm...

Dada: Ippo than elunthia?

Me: [again was stunned by her accumen]..aama

Dada: Seri seekiram kelambi vaa!

Me: what??

Dada: Inaiiku Lavanya trt tharaa...

Me: [now that revoked all my senses]..enna??

Dada: Seekiram kelambi inga vaa oru 1:30 ku...

Me: Paakalam.. i dunno what my commitments are...

Dada: peria ivaru.. seekiram kelambi vaa.. nan vaikkiren...[Dup...]

Me - started to search my brush...

After a well made chicori less coffee, and 4-5 wonder cakes I sat in front of my TV with "Finding Neverland" in my home theater. Whatae movie!!I skimed through it to see few nice scenes. It was 11:30 by then. I de-ordured myself. Then got some uncomfortable feeling abt who were all coming to the treat. Msged Dada and Pooka... Before they could reply, Lavanya called up and confirmed my presence in the treat. hmmm.. Kudutha vaakayum kudutha porulayum ennaikkum thiruppi thara maatan intha pasu. So had to take bath.Taking bath in a sluggish holiday that too at 12 noon is a curse. Really.

Left my home,fully loaded at 12:30 PM. It was long since I last went to Malligai Book Shop .Was astonished when the cashier asked "Enna pa thambi, romba naal aachu? Neenga keturuntha Na.Muthukumar books innum varala". I was stunned. Were it, general "ennapa thambi", its ok. But this fellow pin pointed what I asked. That was too good. I envied Malligai for having such a nice employee. Bought 5 books, all tamil for Rs.*** [Clue: One of the digits is zero] which left me with stingy,girlish amount in my purse. It was Lavanya's b'day tomorrow and thought of buying her Erich Seagal's Love story. But was not available.

Landed in Dada's home @ 1:35 PM sharp and something made me feel uncomfortable ; Any correct guesses?? Put it in the comments :-) hmmm.... Within next 10 mins we were in Germanus and had a riot of laughter after a long time. Muba was tearing with laughter with usual 'Dada'isms :-) .

After emptying Lavanya's purse, Dada with her 'hey-this-will-be-real-cool' idea bought a
bday cake for Lavs. Reached home buying that and there it happened.....I warned those girly-girls not to do cake-appification like silly kids. It all started when our owner of this 'cool' idea dipped Lavs in the cake. "OH NO NOT AGAIN!!" . I was there as just a spectator watchig all non-sense wherein, Dada, herself appifying cake topped all other non-sense as usual. Ha ha... It was the b'day baby Lavs who told " hey ! avana paaren... onnum panama irukkan..." They tried to soak me with cream, and I tried to escape only to land on my poor innocent little specs lying there and its in no way logical to think that it will bear my whole weight..

Ok, I think it's about time to get back to what this post was about.

See the title?

See the picture? :(

Rimmed glasses, here I come!

PS:Did I mention the plastic lens was supposed to be unbreakable?

Sunday, May 27, 2007


Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

This is one prominent dialogue in the movie "V for Vendetta"....

Lemme give a try for "B for Bharathi.."

Boo! Present before you is a bloated, big-nosed, babyish buffon, widely believed to be bracing and birdbrained. This bizarre bozo is no banner of bravery, boldness or brains, but rather a badge of bad manners and brainlessness. Besides being a batty old bugger, he is also the bringer of beningn luck and often, the butt of the best jokes in the band. Bewildered by the most basic of brainworks, it is certainly bewildering that his brain, works. His bitter, blabbering mouth and biting nature have made him the biggest blunder of ma nature.Bemusingly his beggarly attire and beastly behaviour, made him a base brute who is beloved by everybody. So let me add that you may call this beauty 'B', Rather "Big -B"..

- B for Bharathi

 PS: whosoever is reading my blog, please post a comment. Even if it is to tell how bad my blog is :-)

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Its the time to....

Voila...!! After 3 years of depressing subjects, frequent visits to park during the class hours, lack of attendance, 156 weekends, more than 200 movies, obscure subjects , few really good lectures ,very few good lecturers , very very few really good friends and many many many ass holes,and myriad of SSDD*s, we slog for our placements...

Just imagine, girls who are phlegmatic [names, better kept clandestine] and guys who are yokelish are given jobs [this includes me too]..I know, its saddening.

And what all these nitwitted morons should do is this

1. Clear the Apti - "Yeah!!We have R.S.Aggarwal,friends studying in other colleges and previous years question papers and seniors who give question papers only to their junior 'sisters' and those 'sisters' forward those mails to us.."

2. Watch BharathaNatyam/Rap/Hiphop shows - " Yo! Man Im meliorating my bloody body language!!"


If you dont have the patience to watch those, practice un-dumb-charades. Do actions whenever you speak. It works!! Im damn serious here.


If you are not interested in both , go to hell.

3. T.R.'s Arattai Arangam - "my Group discussion skills need some TR touch... I should get circumlocutious"

4. Acquire some fake american accent - eg: pronounce ass hole like ass-howl

5. For heaven's sake, blandish those interviewers even when you know that they are tatally jobless and were sent to recruit you....

And All the best all of you!!!

* - Same Shit Different Day

Sunday, May 6, 2007

"300" - Prepare for 'Gory'

"People who were expecting the continuation of the prev Zen story - The transformation, please wait ;-) ... In the interim.."

Over the last month or so, millions of people all over the world, including me, have been witness to the unbelievable feats of a unique set of people. We have watched in awe and applauded these brash, macho, courageous, gallant, superhuman and above all, yellowish creatures who seem to stop at nothing to defend the glory of their proud nation and to mercilessly massacre their enemies. I am talking here, of course, about the Australian Cricket Team.

Ha Ha Ha Ha, just kidding!! I was actually referring to the Spartan army in the new Hollywood blockbuster movie ‘300’, which gets its name from the total number of visible muscles on the upper torso of a Spartan soldier. ;-)

If you didn’t know it already, the movie is based on the legendary Battle of Thermopylae, in which 300 gallant Spartan soldiers fought bravely against one million lily-livered faggots of the invading Persian army, and kept them at bay for three whole days, while the rest of Greece was busy with the Olympics. The Spartans were lead by their fearless King Leonidas, played in the film by Gerard Butler, whose only previous claim to fame came when he was the only British actor NOT considered for the role of James Bond. The Persian Empire was ruled by the 8-foot-tall, dark and handsome Xerxes, also known as the ‘Bling-King’. Reputed historians from all over the world agree that, if not for his unquenchable thirst for power, Xerxes could’ve had a major impact in the NBA.

Now the Spartans were a tribe of real men, so manly that if Hulk Hogan had lived in Sparta, he would’ve been a nurse or a fashion designer. In Spartan schools, young boys were trained in the art of war. They were taught never to retreat, never to surrender and to torture prisoners of war by locking them up in a room alone with Navjot Sidhu. ;-)

The Persians, on the other hand, were open-minded, extremely horny and willing to experiment with their sexuality. So, when they heard the Spartans crying, “Only the hard and strong may call himself Spartan. Only the hard,” they just had to visit Sparta to check if it was true. So, they decide to invade Greece.... ;-) Just kidding..

King Leonidas, after hearing about the upcoming invasion on Sparta, gets all excited about getting to kick some Persian butt. So, following the official protocol, he asks the Oracle, played by a sexy, writhing young woman covered with only a piece of thin white cloth ,which reveals more than what it covers(Wachowski brothers, please note. You suck.), whether it would be a good idea.

That is Oralce in 300.Wish she was an Indian Goddess; Pity us.That was the most decent pic i could get

Using her prophetic powers, she tells him no, it would be a very bad idea and that everyone would die a bloody death on the battlefield but adds that many centuries later, the movie adaptation of their story would make loads of money. So, Leonidas signs a lucrative deal with Warner Bros., gathers 300 of his best soldiers and goes to war against the invading Persian army.

They march north towards Thermopylae to stop the Persians from entering Greece. The Persians ask the Spartans to drop their weapons and save the movie producers the money to be spent on special effects for the computer generated battle scenes. Leonidas responds to this suggestion by first smirking, and then screaming, Persians!! Come and get them!!” . The embarrassed and enraged Persians immediately sound the battle cry. And so the war begins.

The Spartan soldiers use the phalanx formation, also known as the attacking 4-4-2, and some really astounding special effects to fight off wave after wave of Persian attackers, including silver-masked magicians, an angry rhinocerous, some agitated battle elephants and a couple of hideously deformed circus freaks, all of whom have the fighting skills of a washing machine. For the next few minutes, the screen is a mix of red and brown and body parts go flying around and blood splatters everywhere.This movie also has some Tamil cinematic scenes. I strongly believe that 'Pudungi' Perarasu helped the script writers...Especially when the Commander in chief regrets not for his son's death but for not revealing how much he loved him... SHIT !!

Xerxes, impressed by the Spartan fighting spirit, personally approaches Leonidas, gives him a shoulder massage, and promises him a full-body if only he would kneel down in front of him and do you-know-what. The Spartan king politely declines, saying instead that he would make the Persians bleed to death.

Finally, the Persians, after displaying the intellectual capabilities of cabbage for nearly three-quarters of the movie, suddenly turn into cunning military strategists and surround the Spartan army on all sides. Xerxes demands their surrender, asking Leonidas to service him once before he died. To this indecent proposal, Leonidas replies with the immortal line: “This will not be quick, you will not enjoy this, and I am not your Queen!” [im getting nasty here pals ;-)] and later realising that he was looking at the wrong page of dialogue. Before he can find the right lines, the bling-king orders his archers to fire and all the brave Spartans are killed in a violent downpour of arrows.

The movie sucked big time...

My rating : 40/100

Plus : Photography, CG , Dialogues , Spartan Army

Minus : Profound humdrum.