Sunday, March 30, 2008

Shit happens !

Shit has its own beliefs; and beliefs have their own shit... but i guess everybody believes 'Shit Happens!'So shit means this to you if you follow or if you are......

TAOISM - "if you understand shit, it isn't shit"
HINDUISM - "this shit happened before"
CONFUCIANISM - "confucious say 'shit happens'"
BUDDHISM - "shit will happen to you again"
ZEN - what is the sound of shit happening?"
ISLAM - "if shit happens it is the will of Allah"
SIKHISM - "leave our shit alone"
JEHOVA'S WITNESS - "knock knock, shit happens"
ATHEISM - "i didn't believe this shit"
AGNOSTICISM - "can you prove that shit happens?"
CATHOLICISM - "if shit happens, you deserve it"
PROTESTANTISM - "shit happens, amen to that"
JUDAISM - "why does shit always happen to us?"
ORTHODOX JUDAISM - "so shit happens, already"
TELEVANGELISM - "send money or shit will happen to you"
HARE KRISHNA - "shit happens rama rama"
NATION OF ISLAM - "don't take no shit"
NEW AGE - "visualize shit happening"
SHINTOISM - "you inherit the shit of your ancestors"
HEDONISM - "i love it when shit happens"
SATANISM - "sneppah tihs"
CAPITALISM - "this is MY shit"
FEMINISM - "men are shit"
EXISTENTIALISM - "what is shit, anyway?"
SCIENTOLOGY - "if shit happens, see Dianetics p.137"
MORMONISM - "excrement happens"(don't say shit)
BAPTISM - we'll wash this shit right of you"
MYSTICISM - "this is really weird shit"
VOODOO - "shit doesn't just happen - we make it happen"
MYSTICISM - "this is really weird shit"
DISNEYISM - "bad shit doesn't happen here"
COMMUNISM - "lets share the shit"
MARXISM - "you have nothing to lose but your shit"
PSYCHO-ANALYSIS - "tell me about your shit"
DARWINISM - "survival of the shittiest"
SUICIDAL - "i've had enough of this shit"
OPTIMISM - "shit won't happen to me"
TREKISM - "to boldly shit where no-one has shit before"
SHAKESPEAREAN - "to shit or not to shit, that is the question"
DESCARTES - "I shit therefore I am"
FREUD - "shit is a phallic symbol"
LAWYERS - "for enough money; I can get you out of shit"
ACUPUNCTURIST - "hold still or this will hurt like shit"
DOG - "i just shit therefore i am"
CAT - "dogs are shit"
MOUSE - "oh shit! a cat!"
POLITICALLY CORRECT - "internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens"
EINSTEIN - "shit is relative"
FAMILY GATHERING - "relatives are shit"
MATERIALISM - "whoever dies with the most shit, wins"
VEGETARIANISM - "if it happens to shit, don't eat it"
FATALISM - "oh shit, it's going to happen"
ENVIRONMENTALISM - "shit is biodegradable"
AMERICANISM - "who gives a shit?"
STATISTICIAN - "shit is 84.7% likely to happen"
HIP-HOP - "motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!"
TANTRISM - "fuck this shit"
CYNICISM - "we are all full shit"
SURREALISM - "fish happens"
WICCA - "you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times"

NOTE: Though there are lot to talk about from recent times, this shitting post was composed long back.
/*"Chinna pasanga naanga...*/
/*"A lot CAN happen over a cup of coffee*/
/*"Documentation sucks"*/ etc, :)

Sunday, March 16, 2008

14-03-08, 16.08 PM - Apocalypse then

That was the time and date when I really felt like totally excavated :( Why? Thats what this post is all about.
14th March was a real bad day for me after quite a while. It all started when my teamie Lavans called.. er.. nope msged asking me to go to Lourdes' room to get some code thing that we were in need, for the proceedings of our :) . Lemme tell you,going to Lourdes' room is not a breezy walk. Its well 24kms from my place. But keepin in mind the zero contribution that I put into our project, I had to do atleast this. I also had another work there. To meet Mr.Muthuramalingam, Lavanya's guide. Well and good.

At 10AM,post an hour I got outta bed, I was in my bike heading to his room.

10:45 AM : I met him and got the code. Checked the code in his laptop.

11:20 AM : Went to Pradeep's room to send that code to Lavanya.

11:30 AM : Called up her and discussed about the code. "Ippo nee enna panra, itha apdiye innum konjam develop panra ok? And Muthu sir a patthudu ok?" . Ok and Ok was my reply.

11:55 AM : En Route from Sundi's Place to College. God dosent like me.. or rather the Railway department. @ 12 noon I was waiting behind a bus in the railway crossing with all the toxic gases going into my lungs.
12:15 PM : All the toxic gases that I inhaled was just to know Mr.Muthuramalingam was out
:( Sad.

12 :30 PM : Came back to Sundi's room and was browing for some nice pics for our website. No luck
01:30 PM : Went and had my Lunch in Annapoorna.

02:30 PM : Came back to Sundi's room to see Lavanya's msg, again asking me to see Mr.Muthu. But now with a "plz" :)

02:45 PM : I lost hope of seeing him so I switched over to Plan B. Call him. Called him only to know where he was then.

03:20 PM : Went to see him and ask if we can show our project tomorrow i.e, on 16th March. He said he was busy and was having some marriage to attend. Itha nan phonelaye ketrukalamla?? Correctu :)

03:40 PM : Again reached Sundi's home. Carefully compiled all those things that I had bought. Got his external HDD and left to Lavanya's home..

****************** Just think of what ive done so far. NOTHING! :).. naaiku vela illa nikka neramilla nu solvangalla athu ithuthan ... I had travelled around 40-50 Kms beyond doubt doing nothig. Ena koduma saravanan ithu nu nenachutte nan enna pannen? Seri konjam traffic illatha road la povom nu Avaniyapuram vazhiya ponen... Sema route.. Fulla pacha paselnu vayal and the climate was also cloudy. Sema breeze.. Appo than manushanukku nyanam lam porakkum... cha enna karumam da ithu? oru sappa final year project kaga naaya alayara mari irukku nu.. Hmm alayati code panna solvanuga.. athukku ithu evlovo thevala .. aana life la naan coding thaana panni aganum for living? intha depression la vandila apdiyeee kathuvangitte ponena?? appo than pathen **********************************************************************
What i saw was just happened in perfect timing... I never liked anything hectic. But nothing can be changed now. Can we? :( depressing .The mere sight of what I saw made me feel like Im some kinda slave to whats surrounding me. Life has no freedom if we cant say NO. But for all these years Ive never said NO or taken risks. Sue ME : . Its strange and shameful as it is to admit it. But I have to. Most of the times I never liked what I was doing . Sometimes we might experience truth thats deeper than experience itself. Its beyond what we see or even what we feel. Its the order of truth that seperates the profound from the merely clever and reality from perception.....

Romba olarrenla?? Ivlo olaralukkum karanama iruntha matter enna?? Ithuthan...

Intha pic la irukka pasangalukkum enakkum equal vayasu dan irukkum.. Nan enna pantu irukken.. ivanga ena pantu irukanga?? Erumayoda erumaya kulichuttu irukanga..!! Life la ethuna kavala or commitments irukka? Sugavaasigal illa? All they know is merriment. But this leaves me again with a complex qustion which is intriguinly the answer for the questions of "what is the truth?" that ive been talking just a few lines before...

"If you could be happy. Really happy with ultimate merriment. for just a while, but you know from the start that it would end in misery and bring pain afterwards, would you choose to have that happiness or would you avoid it, for happiness being the only result of truth?? "

PS : After so much of introspection I drenched myself twice that evening. Once on the way to Lava's home and once on the way to mine. That really was a terrible day :)

Friday, March 7, 2008

Few more Questions....

Smoked a cigarette?
If 2 puffs of Wills = Smokings a cigarette; yes.
Crashed a friend's car?
No only mine.
Stolen a car?
Dozens of times!( In GTA of course)
Been in love?
Yes, once. :p
Been dumped?
Many a times :)
Been in a fist fight?
Once in high school. came back home with a swollen cheek but managed to give him a black eye too.
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
Yeah :
Been arrested?
Nope. I never wish to be either.
Gone on a blind date?
I am not into blind dates, have enough worries on my mind already...
Skipped school?
Yeah always :)
Been on a plane?
Yep. Once during my UKG and after a longtime then, few months back. Nauseating!!
Seen someone die?
Yes. I don't think I have ever felt terrible as much as I did then.
Been to Canada?
Not yet but very soon. :)
Purposely set a part of yourself on fire?
I am weird but I ain't stupid!
Been jet-skiing?
I want to someday.
Met someone in person from the Internet?
Sounds exciting. But nope. Im no Tom hanks :)
Taken pain killers?
I live on 'em
Flown a kite?
Yes, but I am very bad at at it.
Built a sand castle?
Yeah. Im not those kids who dont know what pacha-kuthirai is. I lived my childhood days :)
Gone puddle jumping?
WOW! Yeah...
Cheated while playing a game?
Every time!
Been lonely?
That's all I have mostly been.
Fallen asleep at work or school/college?
Never in school, it was way too fun to do that. But in college,Yes. Some of our leturers are walking talking sleeping pills. So cant help it.
Slept beneath the stars?
Yeah many times :)
Been robbed?
Yes, of my innocence :)
Been misunderstood?
When have I not?
Won a contest?
Once in a while, yes..
Run a red light/stop sign?
I love to do that :)
Been suspended from school?
Does being suspended from college count? If yes, then yes :)
Been in a car accident? twice... err... no may be thrice.. I lost count
Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night?
I like ice cream but that's going way off the limit! Only Sundi can do that :)
Walked the streets drunk?
Hmmm... I dont remember..
Had déjà vu?
Many times. (Why do I feel I have posted this before?)
Danced in the moonlight?
Naan aada ready.. kooda yaar adrathu?
Witnessed a crime?
Ive done it myself
Squished barefoot through the mud?
Yeah sema
Been lost?
I am lost most of the time.
Been on the opposite side of the country?

No. But soon, yes :)
Swum in the ocean?
Cried yourself to sleep?
Played cops and robbers?
I wanted to be a constablw when I was a kid :) Yeah , Constable...
Paid for a meal with only coins?
We once paid 173 rupees and 75 paise in CCD.
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
Cant help it
Made prank phone calls?
Lots and lots! Best one was when me and my friends called up to some X (female) and asked "Unga veetla mixy nalla odutha?" When she said "yes" we said "Appo pinnadiye odunga!!" :)
Blown bubbles?
Lots when I was a kid. Id love to do it even now, aana :(
Bonfire on the beach?
Cheated on a test?
Yeah ;) College ku vanthu nan kathukita urupadiana matter ithuthan

She was mine...

It was a cold winter night and the moon lay hidden beneath the clouds. Silence engulfed the air due to the lateness of the hour. I was on my way back from an old friend's house. I pondered over what I had witnessed there. Due to some unknown reason, Abhishek seemed very distant towards me. I noticed that much of his hands and face was covered in ugly scars. When I asked him the reason, he blatantly refused to talk about it.

I had been walking for what seemed like half an hour. Though I was quite sure I was alone on the road, I kept having the eerie feeling of being watched. I stopped and looked around but saw nothing unusual. I started walking again keeping my eyes and ears open for any sign of unwanted company.

Within a few minutes, I was in front of the gate to my house. Just as I opened the gate, a cold wave of air swept past me. I felt a shiver run down my spine. I had never felt such coldness even in the severest of winters. I thought it best to get inside the warmth and solitude of my home and enjoy a quiet cup of coffee in front of the fireplace. I entered and proceeded towards the kitchen to make some coffee. As I was in the process, I glanced outside through the window. For a moment I felt sure I had seen the rosebush move even though there seemed to be no trace of any wind blowing. Just to make sure, I opened the front door and stepped outside. Ice cold air stung my face. Again I had an uneasy feeling of being watched. But somehow I was aware that I had nothing to be afraid of it, whatever it was. Maybe it was afraid of me. I smiled at the thought. How could something which I couldn’t even see be afraid of me? I spoke in the gentlest voice I could muster, "Don’t be afraid. You can come inside if you want to. It’s pretty cold out here." For a while I waited, hoping for something to happen but nothing did. I went back inside but kept the door open in case it changed it's mind. I sat down by the fire and waited…

Bright sunlight forced me to open my eyes. My neck was stiff since I had fallen asleep on the chair. It was about 7 A.M. I got up and closed the door. As I pushed aside the curtains, I saw something written on the condensed dew on the window pane, 'Love me, Love me, Love me'.

I got the news of Abhishek's death a few hours later. The cause of his death was uncertain. Before dying, he had scribbled a note on a piece of paper with his blood. It read, 'She was mine'.

Even then I was thinking about the thing.The thing that I felt yesterday night had definitely come inside the house. I couldn’t see it but I felt it by the coldness around me. It would turn up in every corner of the house. Till now it had never shown its bodily form. Many a times, I would find the same thing written at random places with blood, 'Love me, Love me, Love me'.

One night I was sitting by the fire after dinner reading the papers. As I put down the papers, I was taken aback to see a woman sitting in front of me. She wore white clothes and even her skin was as white as snow. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Her deep blue eyes stared at me with deep anticipation. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I got up and went near her. As I extended my hand to touch her face, a cold wave of air swept passed me and she disappeared. At that moment, I realized who she was.

After this incident, she started showing herself more often. I would find her staring at me with those beautiful blue eyes of hers with what clearly was a smile on her face. But more often, I would find her sitting on her favorite chair; the chair I had sat the night she had followed me home. I started calling her Jynx. I would sit for hours in front of the fire at night, talking to her. I poured down my deepest secrets and desires out to her. I had no idea why I was doing this but something told me I had to, as if I had no other choice. I would go on for hours without a single word from Jynx. Eveytime I looked at her, a thought crossed my mind, 'I was falling in love with her, falling in love with a spirit'.

Weeks passed by without me getting out of my house. By now, I had got used to the coldness around me. It had become my habit to wish Jynx goodnight when I went to sleep. She would sit beside me the whole night and I would find her staring at me when I woke up in the morning. One night, I was sitting by the fire. Jynx, as usual was at her favourite chair staring at me. As I looked at her, the look in her eyes told me that she wanted me to come close to her. I walked over to her and extended my hand towards her. Then, as I had expected, she extended her hand and put it over mine. I felt my hand freeze. The coldness around me increased. My head started spinning. I fell down and as I felt myself losing consciousness, I muttered out the words – 'I love you'.

The next night, I invited a friend to dinner. After dinner, we were sitting by the fire. Jynx was sitting on her favourite chair, staring at Ganesh.

"It’s so cold in here...", Ganseh was saying.

"You look so tired. You should take a vacation."

"I...can’t go." I said looking at Jynx. "I have work here."

Jynx was still staring at Ganesh.

"What happened to your hand?"

"Nothing. Just burnt it." I had tried to hide my hand but Ganesh had seen the bandages.

"Well, I must be going now. It’s pretty late. By the way, do you have any idea what exactly could’ve happened with Abhishek?"

"I have no idea." I knew what had happened but if I told him he would think I was crazy.

"Well, see you then."

I closed the door and went back to Jynx. As I sat down in front of her, I saw a tear roll down her cheek. I knew the time had come. Jynx put her hands on my face. A piece of rotten flesh fell down to the floor. I knew that wherever she would touch me, the blood would dry up and the flesh would rot. But I was helpless. I was in love. Her hands slid down to my chest where my heart was. I knew in a few moments, my heart would freeze up, forever trapping my love for her. I felt my knees getting weaker and I stumbled to the floor. Somehow I made it to the window and saw Jynx following Ganesh. I knew in a few moments I would die. As everything around me grew darker, I heard myself say, "She was mine..."

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Appa.. Anbulla,appa...

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.. And there are certain things can be expressed only in our mother tounge.. so, tamizh la eluduren intha posta..

Innikku kalaila nan collegeku valakkam pola late a ponen. Aana inniku valakkam pola latea kelambala.. Athukku karanam oru ponnu... Odane thappa nenaikka padathu.. Oru kutti ponnu.. Ava avaloda appa oda bike la poittu iruntha.School ku , Obviousa. Mani 8:40 irukum.. Goripalayam signala pathen. That appa tried to reach the center of his back for scratching. He couldn reach. Odane antha kutti illa? Chinnama kaiya kuvichu sorinju vitta :) Apram avaloda appava irukkkkkkkkkkkkkama katti pudichutta :) To be frank that was the greatest hug in the human history ever :) :) pakarappo enakke avlo santhoshama irunthathu.. Antha appa ku evlo santhoshama irunthurukkum? Morning traffic la horn sathathukku nadula ipdi oru priyamana hug.. A hug so pure, so divine, so true..

So nan enna pannen? College ku poratha maranthuttu antha ponna follow pannitu poi photo eduthuttu irunthen... Avlo kallam illatha lovea nan "paathu" romba naal aachu :) so din wanna miss it.. Class la attendance pona poitu pothu.. ithellam miss panna mudiyuma?? Never..

So from Goripalayam I followed and captured the love into my MOTORAZR V3i :) near therkkuvasal church :) See the love...

I'm gonna watch you shine

Gonna watch you grow

Gonna paint a sign

So you'll always know

As long as one and one is two

There could never be a father

Who loved his daughter more than I love