Those who think that our society is still unbiased and sane, please read only the post script of this post. As, reading this post may leave you either psychotic or depressed or might, even turn you philanderic. If you are going to read this, abuse me in the Comments' box and get out! :-)
All happeneings stated in this post are verifiable truths.And if any character dealt in this post resembles you even in smallest of iota, then its you,ass hole. And you may consider yourself lucky or scum. Its left to you.
Note : Names are not revealed, considering the serious obligation by one of the involved person.
"Macha, namma X irukanla.. pona vaaram mattera mudichuutananda. Athu avanukku moonavathu thadavayam!!"
Life's depressing really.. Its been more than a month since I've turned 21 and still I've not even kissed a girl - not even in her cheek :-( .And life seems even more depressing when I hear something like
Well that meant consummating a woman/girl physically or simply 'had SEX'. Heard that?? S for splendid E for Excite X for ...er.. whatever.
Hey man, what am I doing?? Im dumb enough not to know how to seduce a woman??Fuck??..[er... this fuck was exclamation of annoyance. Some thing like - Go to hell, me!!]
And read the following two occurrences. Ive named them Cultural Shocks!!
Cultural Shock - 1
There was this guy named A [Im tired of Xs,Ys and Zee,s..] who was in my class till 12th and now he is in Coimbatore. This part is ok and thats a good place to live. Fine.
This dude has poked 3 girls in his third/fourth year of college alone. Word to be noted : Alone. And one of them is - 'onegoddamnplace's' coucellor's daughter. What to do fellas, I cant let those names out. It just puts my life in peril. Politics you see. And he says that particular girl was 'sema katta'. Isn't that cool? Its not over yet. Yet another girl with whom he did it, is studying in my college. WHAT??!!! Yes.. I know. But see, shit happens. Its cooler huh?? Its yet again not over. He had a tough time seducing her. His cousin lured her with glib, he said, only to reveal that , the girl Im talking about has had sex with more than one guy and obviously more than once. Thats the coolest part.
He has become a chain smoker and yes, he drinks. And again I remind you, this guy was studying with me till 12th standard. He has lost some of his exodontal parts now and that was because of Ganja chewing.
Perfect 10!! Aint it??
Cultural Shock - 2
This B [again a friend of mine. mates till 12th] guy is a maverick, well built and has decent looks. It wasnt too amusing that, this happened to him. But still, that C girl he was talking about [and even showed the picture of hers, man she was sexxy], left me in dreadful oblivion. Lemme tell the crux part of the story
a. She and he were in the same compartment and the third he who was sitting opposite to them tried to provoke her, just to assuage his arousal.
b. Our hero helped her from that fellow.
c. She told this " Hey B , You did soo much for me, I Love you!!" [Sooo much?? you mean soo much?? Shit that was crap. I turned down the hair on my head buddy, just to make myself a JACK ASS!! Yeah Lux, you are right, Im not a mighty romantic, Sigh!! :-(]
d. And they kissed each other. [remember, this was during the third hour since they met each other]
e. They went out. Dated. Had "Fun".
f. The third day she says this " Hey, B! Im getting engaged. Sorry man!!" He says "Phew!! Thank God! I started worrying about my girl friend waiting for me back there in my college. Bye yar"
g. I went MAD!!
This is crazy man!! I cant stand this. A girl who obviously knows that she was having a betrothal and a guy who already have a girl friend, had what they call 'fun'. That was not funny at all.
I asked my friend, " What if da, what if she really was sexually attracted and wanted to marry you?? What about the D, waiting for you??" He said "I never thought that way!But macha, nee antha situationla irunthiruntha.. You dont know da, that was so romantic!" I said " Yeah?? Romantic? what romantic? Leaving your 'real' girl waiting for you and dating some sexy bitch, is that what you call romantic??" Then he says " I was a victim of the circumstances man!!"
I saw a point there. I never had a girl friend, never been with a sexy girl with all the ecstacy in a lonely compartment at around mid night. This left me speechless for hours to come.
"Why am I bothered about those lousy bitches and some crazy womanizers around me? " Said the 'nice' me. The 'bad' me said " Hey you jerk!! live with it man. You are poor in this stuff. You are jealous. You are desperate. You are some bugger who cant deal with the truth". For which the good me said" Hey Hey.. the bad part of this idiots alter ego, i spoke only one sentence. you spoke two and that isnt fair. So im gonna speak three sentence in a row now!!" . The bad me said "You already did that ,ass hole!!".Finally Good me said "Yeah?? Well Yeah! Ill do that again. Hey buddy dont worry. You will be alright.You are good man, be proud of it."
I felt proud for sometime. And that sometime wouldn even last for minutes.
So I had to discuss this with somebody. And my somebody was Dada. I told some stuff about this "Get in. Get out. Get Off" concept ...
me: WHY AM I SOO GOOD and always left LOVE SICK?? mebbe we shud be bad to be loved
dada: hey come on..u mus b proud of urself for ths u r felling ulta..dog
me: yeah. whatever dada... ethachu "nadanthurukka" enaku?? cha cha
dada: kola vizha podhu..adhu adhu apo apo dhaan nadakanum.so ozhunga poi padi
That gave me some relief. Fine so lemme wait for sometime for that 'something' to happen. For those romantic "circumstances". I pity for those future hubbys of those bitches. Shit. If you all say im an ass hole. Let it be..er... Yes. I go with my good-me .
IM AN ASS HOLE AND IM PROUD OF IT!!
Disclaimer : This is by no means a generalisation. Just talking what I knwe about few girls. I am not talking about all the other Mahalakshmi's, Paradevadhai's and Annapoorani's! All girls who still wish to behead me, I am really sorry,be good, I will not complain, promise :-)