Thursday, August 23, 2007

Guys must be crazy !!!

Foreword : . Well this is my first attempt at a "romantic" story.I thought of writing it fully in English; but as there are two girls,[who recently got a job in an IT company] playing predominat roles in this story, I thought tanglish would be a nalla idea rather a girlish tanglish :)

                                                          Guys must be crazy !!!

"These guys must be crazy yaar" kannadi munnadi azhagu paarthu kondiruntha Asha sudden ah sonna..

PC la utkaarnthu busy ah Minesweeper aadittu iruntha Priya thirumbi paarthu ketta..

"Thideernu enna Asha ularure.. Enna matter??"

Asha, "Ada nijamma than solreen priya, these guys must be kaga enna lam than pannuvangalo.."

Priya, "Aaha, thideernu enna love pathi lam pesare.Yaar antha loosu paiyan?"

Asha, "Hey chumma iru di...naane kobathula irukkaen.Nee vera"

Priya : "Ai ai theriyuthe... sollumbothe angae jollu kottuthe..yaaru antha paiyan sollu"

Asha: "Namma pakkathu cubicle Vikram irukkane avan en pinnadiye suthi suthi vanthuttu irukkan dee"

Priya : "Adipaavi, ponnunga ellarum jollu vittutu irukkara vikram ah.. unnaiya.. hey kannadi pakkathula thana irukku, turn and see your face dee.."

Asha : "Hey nijama pa. anniku paaren Food Court la naan saptutu kai kazhuva ponen... anga ethini tap irukku.... but this vikram en pinnadiye ninnutu after i went, antha tap laye poi kazhuvinan"

Priya : "Big deal...ithu bsnl signal a vida oru weak ah na signal ....... ithai poi love signal nu enala othukka mudiyaathu"

[At real-time, girls cant be this innovatively funny, I bet you. So all credit to me :-)]

Asha : "Iru iru, even I didnt think nething about it.Nethikku athe Food court la naan saptutu enthiruchi ponen.Mobile vittutene nu thirumba vanthu paartha that guy Vikram na, naan use panna paper towel ah eduthutu poran...ithukku ena solre?"

[Were I there, I'dve told "Avan oru echakala naai".. But .. girls, you know!!]

Priya : (surprised) "Hey nijammava solre ?"

Asha : "Ada aamam pa.athan sonnen. These guys are crazy. love nu vantha ethu naalum panranga.. nee venumna inniku en kooda Food court vaa inniku.."

As Priya had no other job to do except for finishing the beginner-level minesweeper,That afternoon,Priya and Asha dine together in the Food court. Vikram who enters the Food court at the same time, sits behind them.

Asha : "Paarthiya paarthiya, paiyan enga vanthu utkaruran nu..."

Priya : "Sari sari porumai"

Both finish their lunch and go to wash their hand. As they return they see Vikram standing near the place where they had their lunch

Asha : "Hey atho paaru di...paiyan enna panrannu" [with all the doubts banging in her head which when amplified sounds like this "ada kadavule, enna poi love panrane.. mavane sethan"]

Priya : "Iru iru....."

Vikram looks here and there, after getting convinced no one is around, picks up the tissue that was used by Asha.

Asha (with a triumphant/confused look) : "Ippa ena solre priya"

Priya : "Yeah yeah guys are crazy only. i will go and catch that guy red handedly"

Asha : "Hey venaam pa. enaku oru maathiri irukku."

Priya : "Ada che.. ithu enna murali padama? lovea kadsee varaikkum solamalaye continue panrathukku.. varen iru"

Priya goes to Vikram who is amused to see her..

Priya : "Dei vikram, enna velai da panre.."

Vikram : "System analysta irukken.. en? Kadan venuma?? "

Priya : "Kai la ennadda?"

Vikram : "Tissue paper.."

Priya : " Ithu Asha odathuthana?? Nee ethukku edutha?"

Vikram : "Aama aasha odathuthan.. tho inoru kaila paaru, unnodathu.."

Priya : (with 'enna koduma vikram ithu?' in her mind and slight blush) "Ennodathuma??"

Vikram : "Ipo enna problem, inga iruka ellaroda tissue paperum entathan irukku . Ungalukellam poruppe illayadi??. kai kazhuva pona tap ah thiranthu vidrathu. sapta pinnadi use panna paper towel ah kondu poi kuppai la podarathilla. ippo paru kudicha tumbler ah kooda eduthu vaikkarathilla. Food court volunteer aanathukapparam unga moonjikellam nan vela panna vendiruku ,kali kaalam.. Oththu .. nan adutha table ku ponum"

Saying this, vikram proceeds to next table to collect the left over tumbler.

Moral of the story : Nenapputhan polappa kedukkum!!

Saturday, August 11, 2007

At the stationer's


My mind's drawn a blank. I'm forced to write all the mokkais I come up with in class, here in my blog. Apologies! :)

shtart meejic

I'm bloody pissed off with the stationer down the road. I really am. Ok, so I did seem a bit dumbwitted when it came to choosing the pen I wanted, taking an awfully long time to select one. But that gave him no excuse to insult me.

I entered the stationery shop, hoping I'd be given the same royal treatment I was given in a bakery next door. The stationer stood up, looking relieved to finally see a soul walking into his shop. "Ballpen vennum", I said. Hmmm, maybe I should have been a bit more suave. My line seemed a bit like the "maama biskothu" in the Pandiarajan movie, the name of which I've conveniently forgotten.

He gave me a curt nod, all respect forgotten, and started rummaging the shelf behind him. He handed me a slim gel pen. I stared at it for a while. It must have looked to him as if I was trying to burn a hole through it with my searing glare. With a dissatisfied 'hmmm', I handed it back to him. "Too light a shade of blue", I thought, but I didn't bother giving him an explanation. Without a word, he handed me a click pen. One click, and the pen flew out of my hand. Maybe he didn't trust me to handle such a complicated instrument.

One more forage later, he banged a regular ball pen on the desk, his eyes fixed on mine, daring me to tell him I didn't want it. But I'm not someone who goes looking for conflicts, and I must admit he gave me the creeps with his maniacal scowl. I took it without a word. I dug into my pocket for the frayed 10 Rs note I remembered putting in when I left home.

That was when he opened his mouth for the first time.
Ok, so I was being a pain, maybe I wasn't his best customer. But I will never forgive him for insulting me in such a way. As I handed him the money, he lifted his hand asking me to wait.
He took out his scribbling pad, gave me a sarcastic smile, and said "kirukku".

Guess whose birthday it is on Aug 15 :) [thats a http thingy..]

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

My latest crush :-)

Ive been watchin F.R.I.E.N.D.S for some time now and everytime I see Phoebe [Lisa Kudrow] , my senses become !@#$#%#$^*(^*$%^#$

Her Profile

Lisa Marie Diane Kudrow (born July 30, 1963) is an Emmy Award- and SAG-winning American actress best known for her role as Phoebe Buffay in the hugely popular sitcom Friends.

Lisa is left-handed

Kudrow went out with Conan O'Brien until he moved to New York to host his TV show beginning in 1993. On 27th May 1995, Lisa became the first Friend to marry when she wed Michel Stern, a French advertising executive. They have had one son, Julian Murray (born May 7, 1998). Lisa's pregnancy was written into 'Friends' with her character Phoebe having triplets as a surrogate parent for her brother.

Foot Note :

Those who think "she looks like a bum", never mind. I know :-)

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Cultral Shocks..

Pre Prelude :

Those who think that our society is still unbiased and sane, please read only the post script of this post. As, reading this post may leave you either psychotic or depressed or might, even turn you philanderic. If you are going to read this, abuse me in the Comments' box and get out! :-)
Prelude :

All happeneings stated in this post are verifiable truths.And if any character dealt in this post resembles you even in smallest of iota, then its you,ass hole. And you may consider yourself lucky or scum. Its left to you.

Note : Names are not revealed, considering the serious obligation by one of the involved person.

Life's depressing really.. Its been more than a month since I've turned 21 and still I've not even kissed a girl - not even in her cheek :-( .And life seems even more depressing when I hear something like

"Macha, namma X irukanla.. pona vaaram mattera mudichuutananda. Athu avanukku moonavathu thadavayam!!"

Well that meant consummating a woman/girl physically or simply 'had SEX'. Heard that?? S for splendid E for Excite X for whatever.

Hey man, what am I doing?? Im dumb enough not to know how to seduce a woman??Fuck??..[er... this fuck was exclamation of annoyance. Some thing like - Go to hell, me!!]

And read the following two occurrences. Ive named them Cultural Shocks!!

Cultural Shock - 1

There was this guy named A [Im tired of Xs,Ys and Zee,s..] who was in my class till 12th and now he is in Coimbatore. This part is ok and thats a good place to live. Fine.

This dude has poked 3 girls in his third/fourth year of college alone. Word to be noted : Alone. And one of them is - 'onegoddamnplace's' coucellor's daughter. What to do fellas, I cant let those names out. It just puts my life in peril. Politics you see. And he says that particular girl was 'sema katta'. Isn't that cool? Its not over yet. Yet another girl with whom he did it, is studying in my college. WHAT??!!! Yes.. I know. But see, shit happens. Its cooler huh?? Its yet again not over. He had a tough time seducing her. His cousin lured her with glib, he said, only to reveal that , the girl Im talking about has had sex with more than one guy and obviously more than once. Thats the coolest part.

He has become a chain smoker and yes, he drinks. And again I remind you, this guy was studying with me till 12th standard. He has lost some of his exodontal parts now and that was because of Ganja chewing.

Perfect 10!! Aint it??

Cultural Shock - 2

This B [again a friend of mine. mates till 12th] guy is a maverick, well built and has decent looks. It wasnt too amusing that, this happened to him. But still, that C girl he was talking about [and even showed the picture of hers, man she was sexxy], left me in dreadful oblivion. Lemme tell the crux part of the story

a. She and he were in the same compartment and the third he who was sitting opposite to them tried to provoke her, just to assuage his arousal.

b. Our hero helped her from that fellow.

c. She told this " Hey B , You did soo much for me, I Love you!!" [Sooo much?? you mean soo much?? Shit that was crap. I turned down the hair on my head buddy, just to make myself a JACK ASS!! Yeah Lux, you are right, Im not a mighty romantic, Sigh!! :-(]

d. And they kissed each other. [remember, this was during the third hour since they met each other]

e. They went out. Dated. Had "Fun".

f. The third day she says this " Hey, B! Im getting engaged. Sorry man!!" He says "Phew!! Thank God! I started worrying about my girl friend waiting for me back there in my college. Bye yar"

g. I went MAD!!

This is crazy man!! I cant stand this. A girl who obviously knows that she was having a betrothal and a guy who already have a girl friend, had what they call 'fun'. That was not funny at all.

I asked my friend, " What if da, what if she really was sexually attracted and wanted to marry you?? What about the D, waiting for you??" He said "I never thought that way!But macha, nee antha situationla irunthiruntha.. You dont know da, that was so romantic!" I said " Yeah?? Romantic? what romantic? Leaving your 'real' girl waiting for you and dating some sexy bitch, is that what you call romantic??" Then he says " I was a victim of the circumstances man!!"

I saw a point there. I never had a girl friend, never been with a sexy girl with all the ecstacy in a lonely compartment at around mid night. This left me speechless for hours to come.

"Why am I bothered about those lousy bitches and some crazy womanizers around me? " Said the 'nice' me. The 'bad' me said " Hey you jerk!! live with it man. You are poor in this stuff. You are jealous. You are desperate. You are some bugger who cant deal with the truth". For which the good me said" Hey Hey.. the bad part of this idiots alter ego, i spoke only one sentence. you spoke two and that isnt fair. So im gonna speak three sentence in a row now!!" . The bad me said "You already did that ,ass hole!!".Finally Good me said "Yeah?? Well Yeah! Ill do that again. Hey buddy dont worry. You will be alright.You are good man, be proud of it."

I felt proud for sometime. And that sometime wouldn even last for minutes.

So I had to discuss this with somebody. And my somebody was Dada. I told some stuff about this "Get in. Get out. Get Off" concept ...

me: WHY AM I SOO GOOD and always left LOVE SICK?? mebbe we shud be bad to be loved

dada: hey come on..u mus b proud of urself for ths u r felling

me: yeah. whatever dada... ethachu "nadanthurukka" enaku?? cha cha

dada: kola vizha podhu..adhu adhu apo apo dhaan ozhunga poi padi

That gave me some relief. Fine so lemme wait for sometime for that 'something' to happen. For those romantic "circumstances". I pity for those future hubbys of those bitches. Shit. If you all say im an ass hole. Let it Yes. I go with my good-me .


Disclaimer : This is by no means a generalisation. Just talking what I knwe about few girls. I am not talking about all the other Mahalakshmi's, Paradevadhai's and Annapoorani's! All girls who still wish to behead me, I am really sorry,be good, I will not complain, promise :-)